Concerning the collar

Lately this girl has had a few ‘dilemmas’ regarding her collar. Well not necessarily dilemmas, but thoughts and ponderings and stuff like that. This girl has worn her collar permanently (aside from when there have been reasons she couldn’t wear it or when he has taken it off to put on something else – such as a posture collar or neck corset) since June 2007 – this is what it looks like :-

Eternity Collar

Eternity Collar

Once the collar is on it cannot be taken off apart from by the special allan style key that comes with it, which Grimly normally keeps in a very safe place. Its part of what makes the concept work – the fact that when its on only he can control when it comes off.

When this girl first started wearing the collar she often wondered whether she would continue to feel the same way about it as she did at first, and also how other people would view it as well. Mostly, people don’t notice the collar – that is, people who wouldn’t know its meaning. There have been a few people that have commented, but very very rare.

The most shocking was when this girl’s Dad said ‘are you trying to be like those goths on that bus with the leashes’ hmmm… NO. There were also some weird comments from a guy at the swimming bath once…asking about whether it was hot, whether it came off, whether it got annoying…not sure if he knew what it meant or not…but then probably not..just being nosy.

The one thing that always concerns this girl the most about it is whether someone in the family will notice that its screwed on. This girl is not ‘out’ to her family and is quite happy to keep it that way. She doesn’t want to have to explain her fantasies or her choices to her mum and dad any more than she wants to hear stories about their sex life either. Because thats what this really is, this girl’s sex life, her fantasies, her dark depraved side. Yes, it is a big part, yes it plays a part in her life daily, but, it is still not something that they need to understand – and they wouldn’t.

So, given that, because this girl was due to see her mum a few weeks ago – she asked him for the key so that she could take it off during her mum’s visit to avoid any uncomfortable questions and he gave it to her.

This girl doesn’t like to admit this because it shows a weakness and that she has doubts and she’s wondered a few times about writing this kind of thing…but then, this girl doesn’t pretend to be the perfect submissive as she is after all only human and still really learning things all the time. So being human is not an excuse for anything – just a little in way of a bit of an explanation. Love her love her faults too. They can, after all, be corrected in extremely interesting ways 😉

Anyway, this wasn’t the first time she’s asked for the collar off. On this occasion, the reason was a valid one, but there have been other times when it hasn’t. The only reason for that is because sometimes she wants to rebel against submission, she doesn’t want to be restricted to look enslaved and owned like this, she wants to be her own person. Yet, this is completely insane because this *is* part of who she is. She is owned and she is his, and everytime she questions that she gets really annoyed with herself that she still has to sometimes convince herself to admit and accept submission when she knows it is everything that she wants.

When this girl took it off the other day, she stalled putting it back on. Maybe it was partly because she had PMT but she was going through one of those periods of having doubts about all this. Sometimes she just has days where she isn’t sure whether she wants to submit. But on the whole, without the collar she felt *wrong*, it not being there made her mood lower and she admits to being just a little unbalanced and off the rails for a few days. It passed. He convinced her to put the collar back on, and she started feeling better.

Despite sometimes having days of not liking it, it is part of her. Gosh, there are plenty of other things about her that she has days of not liking – being a girl her bum is one of the highest things on that list. But then, she is comfortable and confident with her body and mostly she is comfortable and confident with the collar too.

It really does mean a great deal , so this girl always feels bad when she has doubts about it. Its part of her, but most importantly its part of him and symbolic of what the relationship means to both of them. Its nice it being here when he’s not, she only has to touch it for a little comfort when she’s missing him. He’s often said that to him its like an engagement ring it shows the commitment, the love and a little about what the relationship is about.

So its not as showy as an engagement ring, its not got diamonds or anything so flash, and its not obvious to anyone that isn’t kinky that it means something. But it means something to this girl, and it means something to Grimly as well and thats all that matters and thats what she needs to always remember.

All this girl really wants, and she possibly doesn’t always make this very clear, is to belong to him, for him to love the fact that she is his and have fun using that to his advantage and the collar reminds her that it is precisely the happy situation she is in.She just can’t help having her moments of being a twat!

Go on…say it…she probably doesn’t deserve to be Grimly’s sometimes! Just thank God he doesn’t think that!

10 thoughts on “Concerning the collar

  1. Again, a wonderful insight into your personality. The collar is always an interesting aspect of D/S, because of the level of symbolism, but also because of the physical aspect. Its not to surprising that you’d want to rebel against it, certainly not to a degree. Rebellion is a part of being a sub isn’t it? Isn’t that part of why subs need a top? Its probably also one of those things that not having it on, feels strange after a period of time. So, enjoy your collar, enjoy being you, and ask your Master to punish your properly for your rebellion. That’s part of the fun of being a bratty sub, right?

  2. As for Mom, why not get a necklace, remove that chain, and clip it onto the collar so it looks more vanilla. As for the times you feel the collar needs to be off, why not have it so something else goes on or in instead? You are not a chastity fan, but being belted when you are collarless might be a good way to never feel you are out of his control, yet not obvious to the world.

  3. Same silver band around my neck and on one wrist during the day.
    Parents thought it was lovely jewelry. However, i was prone to wearing heavy art pieces prior so it wasn’t shocking. Only problem i had was forgetting to request removal prior to a dental appointment. Simply explained i didn’t have a key…sure they had a few comments after i left!
    Knowing how it feels when it is off, perhaps take a chance to see if she notices?

  4. Hi Shawna, thanks for commenting…sure it is part of the fun to be kept in check, i know he doesn’t want a doormat or a robot but then he doesn’t want too much of a brat either, at least not all the time ! Hopefully i have the balance about right…or thereabouts…but oh yes there is room for improvement!

    DP….is is that obvious??

    He says I keep boiling his bunny ·ref fatal attraction. (sigh* lol

    Tim…the collar is solid so i cant really wear any other jewellery with it, and it does mean a lot to me, so I will just have to get over the small issues I have. You know what…I hate your idea…I hate chastity shut up shut up lol. Grimly on the other hand will think its great!

    Pet, I think for the most part its subtle enough, but then I think the majority of people are really unobservant about it. I’ve had a woman finger it a bit when I was at an airport in France and then seem satisfied it wasn’t a threat. I’ve worn it in front of my mum and dad before so, they are used to it a little, just the last time i saw her i was sleeping in same room which normally wouldn’t so thats why I was more worried about it.!

    Oh i know i shouldnt fret about it..i do love wearing it really…just there are days when i doubt stuff rather idiotically.

    thanks for your comments guys

    TG xx

  5. “The one thing that always concerns this girl the most about it is whether someone in the family will notice that its screwed on.”

    If he were to weld it over and buff it smooth there’d be no fastenings for anyone to notice and comment on. I’m sure that’s within his capabilities.

  6. Ralph,
    Welding is melting metal to make it fuse together, I am a good welder and could do that. However the melting point of stainless steel is 1400 deg C and it is a very good heat conductor. Can you see the flaw in your idea?

    Cheers Grimly

  7. I’m not talking about welding the ends in a great glob, I’m talking about press-fitting a plug into the screw hole, filing it flush, and then tack-welding a few points around the edge of the circle where the plug material meets the collar material. You’d be melting a volume of material about two tenths of a milllimeter across by a tenth of a millimmeter deep.

    At work we frequently TIG-weld stainless steel near sensitive components. It’s all a matter of having sufficient heat sinks, and having a weld depth that’s just enough to make a seal and no more.

  8. well, we wouldnt take the risk, given that its not just a sensitive component its my neck we’re talking about here! Although it may be ‘technically’ possible, i would seriously advise against using that much heat near someone’s neck & face.

    besides…he likes being able to take it off to put on other ones so its not something we would consider.

    Thanks for your comments.

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