When girls don’t put out…

a joke email from this girl’s inbox…..edited to add the highlighted part below is exactly as it came through from the original sender.

This was written by a guy ….. it’s pretty damn smart.

Girls — Please have a sense of humour! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.Well,the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’

I said, ‘WHAT??!! What was that?!’

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

‘You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.’

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?’

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, ‘Lets get a pair for each

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, ‘That’s fine, honey.’ She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is
all dear, let’s go to the cashier.’

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don’t feel like it.’

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, ‘WHAT?’

I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.’

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?’

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.

Alright Ladies. Forward this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree,forward it anyway.

8 thoughts on “When girls don’t put out…

  1. ok ok…its bad…but the idea of a guy’s sense of logic was amusing i thought. Though the funniest thing was half the girls in the office said …oh yeah…i do that to my boyfriend….

    I dont understand people like this ! I guess I just don’t ‘get’ vanilla dating/relationships when used to things our way!

  2. This is really an old joke, but I actually pulled this on a former partner who had used to play that same game. She gave me the silent treatment for a week, and completely failed to acknowledge the analogy.

  3. I’m sorry, and I don’t mean to be unkind to anyone, but the basic points of this joke are

    (a) For a woman to decide she doesn’t want to have sex on a given occasion is committing a wrong against her partner, and

    (b) Men are interested in sex; women are interested in money

    and I find both of those points reprehensibly incorrect.

    I’ll shut up now, but I couldn’t let that go unsaid.

  4. i think the basic point of the joke was.. it was supposed to be a joke! i.e not real and not something to get upset about.

    You know what – i dont agree with gender stereotypes either and they certainly do not fit Grimly & I. For me i was just amused by other people’s reactions as there were people at work who related to it. Thats what i found funny. To get that you would probably need to know something about the idiots i work with I guess!

    Ok…so it wasn’t that funny as jokes go…i am sorry if you were so riled by it and took offense.

    Gosh all i was doing is putting a little interlude into my blog instead of going on about my world of BDSM,bondage, sex,submission all the time lol.

    Sometimes this girl needs to put her feet up!

    Well i never was good at telling jokes anyway


  5. Here’s one of my faves:

    Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following conversation ensued:

    First Guy: “Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend.”

    Second Guy: “That’s nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool.”

    Third Guy: “Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her.”

    They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they ask him. “You haven’t said anything about what you had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What’s the deal?”

    Fourth Guy: “That’s easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off, I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke. ‘Golf Course or Intercourse?’, I ask. She says, ‘Wear your sweater.'”

  6. i know some people have sex with their socks on…but sweaters would just be too hot and incredibly wrong…and reminded me of this

    sex in latex though…thats a different story 😉

    yes….duh i know thats not what you meant!

    TG xx

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