picture – spreader bar with a difference
A phrase quite often spoken by Grimly.
This girl will very rarely have much fore-warning of what Grimly is going to do to her unless it is one of those unusual occasions where he will ask her for suggestions and she will come up with something incredibly stupid in that it will involve requesting something that will be incredibly uncomfortable or painful or both. No matter how many times this girl reminds herself to be careful about what she wishes for and how she goes about expressing and vocalising that to him she forgets every single time an ends up in one of these predicaments regardless. It is really part of being a maschoist and all part of the fun to have this sort of love-hate relationship with pain and with the man who engineers it.
Mostly though, Grimly decides what happens and when and whether it involves pain or pleasure or some hedonistic combination of the two. He does not really tell her anything or encourage her to do anything that will help prepare this girl for his dastardly plans…but then after three or four years of being used to this what preparation does she need??
In a way its good that things are like this because it means this girl doesn’t have to concentrate on being anxious about whether or not she will be ready for any particular plan of his, and yet it also means that if this girl allowed herself to she would worry about absolutely everything within the realm of possibilities.
So this girl normally takes a pretty laidback attitude to torture (before it happens – during is completely different) unless she has witnessed of course parts of the creation procedure if new ingeniously engineered devices. Its something that comes with a high level of trust in him combined with a knowledge ‘oh fuck he’s going to do what he wants anyway’ lol. Mostly Grimly doesn’t let this girl know the full capability of a new device until she can experience it first hand without being able to move and certainly without being able to escape.
One of the most fun things about her being Grimly’s is experiencing new and modified inventions. Its fun being his guinea pig, and just like a guinea pig this girl can’t do anything to prevent her owner’s depraved and unhinged experiments, only she doesn’t have an exercise wheel…er…yet. though funnily enough the thought of that gives this girl ideas of a wheel acting as an electric dynamo which by turning electrocutes the victim in one area and when she’s not running electrocuting her somewhere else on her body. Funny old thing imagination…though maybe if you read here often you have some idea of how this girl’s mind works so maybe its not so suprising…
Grimly’s training of this girl is an ongoing project for him, and possibly in some ways subtler and more decious than more commonly employed methods and yet at other times extremely hi-tech and explicitly erotic and sexual. Keeping her on her toes with new inventions and devices is just one part of it.
Mostly this girl doesn’t think about the things he is doing to her mind on too much of a conscious level even though what he is doing is in some ways is perhaps tantamount to behaviour modification and brainwashing. But then, it is what she wants isn’t it?? To be slowly adjusted into some sort of submissive bondage toy. Sure, it might not be every girl’s childhood dream but then not everyone is remotely the same.
A lot of what Grimly has done to this girl has mostly involved slowly building her confidence to be comfortable with who and what she is, and helping her overcome her fears and objections. Maybe it is not really training in the sense of being programmed or scheduled but what he does aids her self development and submission tremendously with a little encouragement and modification here and a little torture and pain and orgasmic pleasure there.
One of the most fun parts of that is quite often this girl doesn’t realise at the time what is happening to her, or where it all might be going, but you know, its fun and its an adventure so its good because behind all that she knows that Grimly knows what they both want and need and is creatively working towards that in his own manner without following any sort of Master’s manual or handbook.
That’s the thing about BDSM…you need to work out your own way of doing it, not somebody elses.
There are of course Doms that might follow what may be seen to be a more traditional approach, setting in place certain goals and objectives to reach and given set requirements of their submissive that must be completed and achieved ‘or else’ and for them it probably works.
This girl tried all that, trying to follow an idea of ‘how to be a sub’ with someone else having an attempt at what they thought being a dom was, so with her previous dom she tried some elements of training that must have been out of the ‘this is how you do it ‘ book, such as aiming to give him blow jobs whenever, sleeping with a butt plug all of that. For a while it was novel, but it wasn’t fun. It needs to be fun more than anything else. This girl doesn’t want regimented submission, especially given that in that scenario failure to comply meant not getting any of her own deeper fantasies fulfilled until she did. With this girl…thats counter-productive. She is not ashamed to admit that she needs attention, and orgasms and lots of fun…she can’t achieve some sort of deep submission based on service and surrender alone. There are times when she would like a more service orientated submission and when she enjoys doing things that please her Master on an extremely simplistic level like cooking his dinner or making his bloody coffee (sorry but this girl finds it hard even now to admit that she likes that but sometimes she does!) but it doesn’t work if there isn’t the fun and the play too.
The type of D/s she shares with Grimly doesn’t include routines like sleeping with butt plugs, practising deep throat or learning how to be a domestic goddess (though she can actually cook more things than when she first started seeing him) and its no worse for that.
Maybe there are downsides for not having that, like he’s not come in her mouth or her ass yet, but you know, there’s plenty of time for that. In fact this girl is incredibly lucky in not having a Dom who feels the need to shoot his sticky stuff absolutely everywhere, though sometimes it gets sore him being like a fucking duracell bunny!
So sometimes she’s not completely physically prepared for what he might want to do, in ways that other submissives might be. She doesn’t mind that. It means that everytime he ties her in one of these obscenely vulnerable positions that all sorts of thoughts go through her head as to what he might do next, whether she will be able to take it, how long he will make her suffer. Like here, she was completely laid open and he did what he wanted and not really a damn thing she could do about it as he stuffed her full of plugs and forced her to orgasm again and again and again 😀
Really it is trust that has allowed him to progress her submission this far, and maybe it is most graphically illustrated through BDSM than anything else, when he has her tied and trussed up and at his mercy, but then in so many other little ways it shows as well.
This girl is a little fucked in that respected, a lot doomed, and very very very happy and loved up on her Master.