Self Imaging

This isn’t the post this girl intended to put with THIS picture, but following some current thoughts it seems sort of appropriate.

A program was on the BBC hosted by Alesha Dixon (singer and this year’s winner of Strictly Come Dancing) which focussed on the extent that glossy magazines ‘photo shop’ celebrities to hide their flaws and defects and how women (from girls as young as 8 years old) feel themselves encouraged to work towards an ideal body image and type.

It is part of how society is. To be beautiful. To be ‘thin’ and to be glamorous are ย desireable qualities. ย This girl is no better or worse than anyone else in wanting that, though perhaps not to as great an extent as some people. She is basically what she is, and she is FAR FAR FAR from super model or glamour magazine material. That doesn’t bother her. This girl’s ex was quite vocal about what he thought she should look like to the point where it made her feel as though there wasn’t really much about her body that he liked. In fact, she can’t recall a time when he ever said ‘you look beautiful’ apart from maybe the night he proposed.

Grimly doesn’t insist that she looks a certain way. Well…he does, maybe, in little ways, but he does it in a subtle manner and doesn’t ram it down her throat or make her feel bad about her appearance even when she’s having a ‘i feel fat and horrible’ day! She has a dress code that encourages feminity and she tries to stick within that as far as possible, whether it fits in with fashion as well as what she thinks he likes is another thing altogether, but as long as he likes it who cares about fashion! It is one thing this girl has never ever been a slave to! He’ll also quite often choose how she looks for play, he’ll suggest her wearing something or sometimes even dress her up himself.

Grimly has always made this girl feel as though she is gorgeous to him, and says it as though he means it and she knows him well enough to know that he would be honest if she did look terrible or if her bum looked huge. Well it is huge anyway!

Over the last few years Grimly has done a lot to improve this girl’s self confidence from her having none to having quite a lot and feeling quite good about herself.

She’s not a model or a porn star, and she never will be but she’s comfortable enough with how her body is and with the potential that it has (with a little work) to not feel the need to take drastic measures. In the program this girl watched it was quite disturbing watching girls of 18 wanting boob jobs and to look like pop singers and magazines photoshopping celebrities into ideal figures.

Being famous does not make you beautiful. It all seems a bit fake if it is photoshopped to death.What is desireable about being something you’re not? Whats wrong with just being ‘you’ including the little imperfections that being you comes with.

This girl used to feel more uncomfortable with her body than she does, she felt uncomfortable with posting too many pictures because bondage isn’t always flattering. Sometimes tight restrictive stuff despite being wonderful does make bits bulge where they shouldn’t. Its one of those undesired side effects. Also, being spaced out of your mind has the tendency to make you forgot to hold your stomach in and stick your ass out and try and look as though you have some sort of elegance. There are people that look brilliant tied up, and fit the model criteria far better than what this girl ever would…but are the shots real all the time??

What this girl does is real, and no matter how imperfect she might be its all her. Any picture here is a capture of something that actually happened, real and not at all posed. She doesnt post face pictures though to preserve an element of anonymity, and also, there’s something special about it only being Grimly that sees her orgasm and torture faces!

This is about as close as you will get to that.

When this girl first saw this picture she thought it looked pretty bad, steel bondage is not flattering on the body unless you are well toned. The collar, arm cuffs, cuffs and belt are all steel and all screwed on and all made to fit ‘just and no more’. Added on top of that is a blindfold, gag, 2 expandable plugs, a clitoral vibrator and nipple clamps (with weights)…so…given all that…how could anyone ever be actually expected to pose and try and look in control of their body?? Nah.

But you know what? So what.

This girl is proud of what she does and how she looks because its real, and, quite often a little unique.

This isn’t a pay site or magazine so there’s never going to be photographs that are polished to the nth degree or perfect in every way, just illustrations of the deviant life of someone living their own definition of ‘normal’.

It may of course not be normal to anyone else.

14 thoughts on “Self Imaging

  1. Well said!! You always look incredible, absolutely incredible, vulnerable and serene.

    Thank you for sharing the pictures that you share, you are inspiring and so effortlessly “real”.


  2. But, we as a society have a screwed up sense of what’s beautiful! We idolize the anorexic.

    You, dear, ARE beautiful! When you did have a few pictures that showed your face and fully clothed, I was truly struck by how VERY pretty they were.

    Reading your blog is really cool – I get to see a young lady who has a kinky side, a caring side, an insecure side, a loving side and a sophisticated side. You aren’t marketing anything, you’re simply sharing who you are with a few of the other riders along with you on this planet.

    You go girl!

  3. You are beautiful outside and inside and a very special person. I love you for who you are and the way you are.

    As for those anorexic bondage models ….. I would be too worried about breaking them to be able to do what we do.


  4. I agree with kk, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Since you are beholden to Grimly, the rest of the world doesn’t matter. I would far rather see you like this, being real, and being totally zone out, than anything half of the “beautiful bondage” sites trot out. Pornography for me is to see someone so poorly tied, that they could stand up and take the ropes right off.

    Your writing just reminded me of being at a gym and checking out a hot girl in spandex suggestively bending and stretching. Then you see her turn around and she is about 80 with a Joan Rivers too much plastic surgery face!. Or worse, a guy!

    My suggestion is that as a mind fuck that Grimly consider displaying you the world here in a fasion spread as the “ultimate woman” Your attire would be
    Ballet heels, hobble skirt,leather boustierre, Merry widow corset pulled into an hourglass figure, long sleeve gloves, a realistic face mask, and a long blond wig. And on the inside of all of that, would be just what you have on in that picture. Talk about beauty being only skin deep!

  5. You not only have a beautiful body, you have a beautiful mind. I am in awe that you are willing to share both on your weblog.
    My compliments to Grimly for his accessorizing your body to make it even more beautiful.

  6. oooh…what was the programme called….maybe I can get it on bbc i player. You look perfectly normal to me my dear :). Keep it real.

  7. When you’re happy and you know it clap your handcuffed hands… ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Seriously though, at times we’re all going to be dissatisfied with some aspect of our body image, but it’s when you finally accept and like who you are that you find happiness in yourself and in the world around you.

    Take care,

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