Writing her name

From submissive journal prompts

Where did you get the name you use online or in the scene? What is its meaning?

This girl has had loads of online-id’s over the years. A lot of them have been cheesy descriptive ones…like…one of her earliest bdsm ones was tortureslut4u2use (or something like that) how bad is that! But then, this girl has always been one of those sort of blunt and obvious ‘does what it says on the tin’ type of people.

Her current one (and her blog really) is based on something that started out sort of as a private joke. She used to have a blog elsewhere, but she wanted to write something sort of private in public without anyone apart from her Master knowing it was her. She had joked with him a few days prior about gorean rules and language and he’d said ‘i actually sometimes like the third person thing’. So she tried it, and he knew straight away it was her, and then, she moved her blog and her stories here and it sort of stuck. It became habit to write like this, and, given that her yahoo id and everything was based on who she was before meeting him she eventually changed that too.

Sometimes she gets irritated by it and wonders whether people reading find this style irritating or whether they like it. Though, after two years worth of posts this girl wouldn’t change it on the say so of the grammar police! Besides Grimly wouldn’t let her,and although he doesn’t have editorial control he does have an input in something as fundamental as that. Writing here is sort of part of her submission. Not a direct part, but a bit that communicates back to him about how she’s felt about things, and enforces her own understanding of what’s going on in her head. She is getting better at doing that in person now than she once was of course. Writing like this helps this girl to be reflective, to think about subjective things objectively and vice versa, so to change it now would sort of spoil what’s gone on here so far because after all its sort of like a record of previous thoughts and experiences and all that. This girl is quite happy and proud of what she’s done over the last few years, and she’s quite happy for this name to be associated with that.

Besides….if she went back to a descriptive id now it would be something daft like :-

Brainwashedtiedupelectrocutedtorturedslavegirlownedbygrimly

and that would be kind of ridiculous. So this is sticking.

3 thoughts on “Writing her name

  1. When I first started reading your blog, the third-person stuff was off-putting and made me want to assume that you were some kind of not-that-bright Gorean type of person who would be into capitalizing a lot of words funny and displaying a weird self-effacing quality. However, that was obviously (even within a couple of paragraphs) not true, and now the style seems normal and natural to me, and kind of cute.

  2. (God, I hope that comment didn’t come off sounding completely insulting. I didn’t mean it to be. Keep in mind that I read a lot of blogs and there’s no way of knowing, when you start one, what the writer will turn out to be like.)

  3. No I get where you are coming from 🙂

    My view is not that different. The whole idea sort of started as a joke about Gor and spiralled out of control because he liked the style of the writing. Gor is not at all U/us though 😉 lol. Really all I have changed is the ‘I’s and me’s ‘ for blog posts it doesn’t come into what we have anywhere else.

    I don’t understand people who refer to ‘gorean philosophy’. It’s not a philosophy its a series of extremely badly written trash. Though..if people want to base a dynamic on that then all well and good…..if it works great, though i think its a bit unrealistic and lacking in imagination.

    I don’t relate to weak-willed women, or women that feel they have to be a certain way and that their D/s is almost some sort of belief and worship system. My Dom’s cock (nice as it is and everything) is NOT the centre of my universe! I suppose as well part of his needs include the need to have someone that he can share other interests with, and converse with and dream up new possibilities with. If i answered everything with ‘yes master whatever you say master, whatever you want’ he would get bored VERY quickly. Though he adds sometimes might be nice!

    What I have with him is based mostly around his sadism and my masochism and then a little control and submission and dominance has crept into it and developed into something that suits us.

    Maybe its a bad analogy but to us kink/D/s/BDSM whatever you coin it is a bit like a buffet…we take the bits we like and leave the rest. Its not that there is anything wrong with the rest of it, it just might not be to our taste, and I think a lot of people are the same in that.

    I appreciate him because he brings out the best in me instead of trying to make me into what other people see as the ‘ideal submissive’. I’m not perfect, i still need to be conquered sometimes and encouraged and tormented and that isn’t going to change.

    I didnt want someone that would change me, or take away my identity or free-thinking and he didnt want a doormat either, so we are pretty well balanced in that respect.

    Your comment totally made sense, so dont worry about that and I think a lot of people might be the same not just reading me but reading other things as well it always takes a few posts to decide whether something is good/bad/or an acquired taste! 😉

    Thanks again xx

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