Picture – tower of pain
Her endurance of pain is not something this girl thinks about very often.
Normally whenever Grimly does anything to her it’s a matter of letting him get on with it, often this will leave her on the edge of her seat waiting to see where things will go trusting him to judge when to add something different or to change the level of sensation and pain.
During play this girl will quite frequently lose all track of time. It sort of adds to the fantasy that feeling of ‘right now nothing else matters, nothing else exists apart from what happens’. Minutes and hours all sort of blend together. Ok, sure, its being something of an escapist but that is what BDSM is partly about. Escapism & fantasy.
So to add time back into the equation, can sometimes be a bit of a headfuck. To know that something that you might not be sure how you are going to handle is going to last a certain amount of time, especially when you think you have some sort of understanding of how long you think you would normally be able to tolerate it for.
An example – the tower of pain :-
This crafty little nipple torture device hurts like fuck, as the handle is twisted the nipples are pulled outward. Nipple torture has never been one of this girl’s favourite ordeals, and quite often her mind will think…no no no dont take something out of THAT drawer!
So, to be told he is going to use it and won’t stop until x number of minutes go by leaves this girl a little apprehensive. It’s like her mind is just longing it to be over, and instead of the time flying by and being lost it slows down completely. The complete opposite to normal play. The mind keeps thinking the pain is worse than it is, that it’s impossible to endure…and yet, it’s really all one big head fuck because he knows all along roughly how much she can endure of it! Time is a distinct way of being able to measure endurance, to know how long you’ve ‘lasted’ and so giving that back seems to make the whole thing more noticeable. Making the pain more noticeable, because its all there is to think about, and yet it really turns her on feeling it and also feeling awareness of her own pride as a masochist unless she fails in that and feels the need to beg him to stop.
Sometimes she thinks she’d like him to test her endurance of things more and make it harder and yes oh gosh here we have a case of be careful what you wish for because it sure can be dangerous! Being made to be really ‘aware’ of what is happening and despite fatigue, being uncomfortable, being stressed and being hot it still continuing is really erotic although of course sometimes it can be irritable,frustrating and tormenting as well! Grimly being so sadistic can be really hot and that weird twisted smile on his face as he enjoys her suffering turns this girl on so much. How he tests her body can be timed, or not, it doesnt really matter, it’s more so how he directs the play that tests her endurance than something so insignifcant as a clock. He could use any number of factors to draw her attention to her own predicament, torment and torture, the least of those being the ability to relay her tormented image on a video screen inside her head!
Being made to watch her suffering is weird, its like an out of body experience in a way, it looks as though its all happening to someone else, but its not of course.
This girl often wonders how she maintains possession of her sanity despite what goes on in Grimly’s domain, and yet the answer is quite plain – it’s because it is not onesided it is mutual fantasy, and a lot of care and attention to detail goes into it from both sides and a lot of love too of course.
Sometimes this girl wants to endure more *for* him. To sort of prove that she can take anything he wants to do to her, and for the most part she thinks she achieves that as she always tries to be open to new ideas and adventures one of her biggest flaws (or strengths depending on your view) being a dangerous curiosity. In fact, thats what got her here in the first place! Wanting to know what things are like, what they feel like, how it will affect her, a fascination really to explore and learn. There are always more things to learn about, to test out , to experiment with, to test endurance of….if there weren’t, her BDSM fun would be over. As long as she continues to be with someone with such a vivid imagination and devious creativity her enjoyment of BDSM will not be at risk!