Neverwhere and imbetween

Neverwhere is a book. By Neil Gaiman, which this girl started reading on her way home from Grimly’s last week.

It tells the story of a man who becomes embroiled with the goings-on of London-below – which is London, but its darker, underground, an extremely sinister place whose people are the homeless and historical figures. It’s basically a fantasy, a dark one, with murderous villains,deadly angels and adventure.A parallel universe.

 

In the end, the hero, has the chance to go back to his ‘normal life’ which was his objective throughout the book only to realise that what he really wants is the fantasy life – that it’s more real and that there is not really anything in the normal world left for him.

This girl enjoyed it. She enjoys reading anything that paints a good picture of fantasy, of fear and of human nature.

Sometimes she feels as though life is pretty much a parallel universe at the best of times. She has the life she has here, work,housework,friends – everyday stuff…and then her life with Grimly. As though the journey to see him is like going through some wardrobe door or rabbit hole.

It’s silly really. Making it sound like its all some sort of big adventure. It’s not really. Yet. The biggest adventure will be trying to live *with* him. When the two sort of half-lives blur together, and this girl often gets scared of that. At the moment things are comfortable(ish) ,whenever she sees him its fun, its erotic, its amazing but is that just because of the distance that the times together are like that, as if each time the most has to be made out of it.

This girl knows it will work when she lives with him, it’s just its scary to wonder how things will differ to how things are now. To what she’s used to. But to not go ahead with it would be not let things progress, and they need to. So at the moment its like she’s in this imbetween place, waiting for things to be in place so that it can happen. A kind of limbo.

This girl understands how the character feels in the book. When he goes back to his normal life he realises it lacks the excitement and adrenaline. This girl feels the same, because sometimes her fantasy life feels more alive than anything else, and the bits imbetween are so mundane and boring!

Not sure who first said the thing about needing pain to feel alive. Pain,pleasure its all the same, this girl being like some sort of junkie longing for her next hit of him. 

Its an addiction she can live with. Living with him won’t be like living in a fantasy world. It’ll be better than that, it will be like living on the edge of it, able to just dip into it so easily and yet be able to have a convincing cover of being ‘normal’. Being 24/7 is NOT this girl. Not in the sense of how it is normally presented at least. Of course,she sees herself as his slave always, but in subtle ways, in ways that to the rest of the world would appear quite innocent. She couldn’t be the naked,collared and chained pet all the time, because she wouldn’t appreciate her fantasies if she felt she was forced to live in it all the time. It would be like being forced to eat a whole tub of icecream every day. Overindulgence, not good. Balance is better and thats what this girl wants. A balanced life. Not a half life like she has at the moment.

2 thoughts on “Neverwhere and imbetween

  1. When you wrote “At the moment things are comfortable(ish) ,whenever she sees him its fun, its erotic, its amazing but is that just because of the distance that the times together are like that, as if each time the most has to be made out of it.” Kind of sounds familiar to me as to my situation, though my curiosity in the whole of it is how long before you do start wanting more time, more of this addiction, and – more pointedly at your relationship, how long do you think till you will both mutually agree on making that 24/7 transition, and will it mean your giving up a lot (employment, friends, etc.) as you know life now? Am I too inquisitive?

  2. No, you’re not! Its okay…

    I’ve always wanted more I think from basically the point where I knew I was in love with him…and certainly from the point he was in control of my orgasms (i wonder why!) I thought it would get easier and that I would stop getting tearful whenever I leave him…but now even a separation of about a fortnight (average for us) is annoying.

    Moving in with him does mean a lot of changes mostly because its 200 miles away and so not commutable daily. I will have to change job (i might be able to stay within the same company but it would be a completely different role) obviously I would keep in touch with friends I have here but its totally different…and his area is the ‘middle of nowhere’. The benefits I know will outweigh the disadvantages…but its still scary. I guess particularly scary for me because i’ve moved ‘for’ a man before. This time I know its a lot better, that i’m more surer…that i have a good idea of what his bad habits are and all the rest of it…so we’ll see what happens! TG X

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