It was a love of pain, of sensation, of all things kinky that led this girl to Grimly in the first place. This girl did not expect that her desires would have lead to a different love all of its own, but they did.
BDSM is a very physical activity filled with bondage,torment,aching,fantasy and fear so how could she not fall for someone who was able to deliver that to her personal specification?? Of course, there’s more to it than that, but the reason why this girl got to where she is now and fell for the man she is with is because of his ability to deliver her fantasy and make it come to life.
It would of course seem strange to anyone ‘not into this’ to understand how you could fall in love with someone who delights in tormenting your body, playing with your mind and who does all manner of physical devilment to you.
The question : how can you hurt someone you love, or, why would you love a person that treats you like that? But of course its sort of a crucial part as to what BDSM for so many people is all about.
As BDSMers (or whatever other name you want to call it) we seem to be wired so differently to the rest of society, it’s as though we seem to be more alive. If you work in a place similar to this girl full of shallow minded 20odd year old pubbing/clubbing/hair and celeb magazine reading women you will know what she means. Is it just that we are better and more honest and open in expressing our desires? Is it just that we have learnt that the healthiest and happiest way to a good sex life and a good relationship is to be honest with your partner about yourself about your darkest fantasies?
Grimly can hurt the girl he loves because he knows it is what she wants and what she enjoys and yet she wonders whether sometimes he holds something back out of love. That perhaps subconsciously he worries if it will go too far and that he will hurt her in an unintended way. An example, maybe not the best one, is anal sex.
It is something this girl really enjoys and yet he hasn’t really done it. The reason for that (and not one she is complaining about too much as it has of course other benefits) is that he’s bigger than the other guys she’s done that with and it’s been a longtime. Yes, yes, of course there are other types of anal play you can do to build up to it…as for the anal training idea…of the whole nightly thing or whatever…been there…done that with the ex and got extremely bored with it, so another of the reasons possibly why he holds back on it a bit. But mostly because he is worried that he might cause her discomfort he doesn’t intend. Discomfort that he plans is a completely different thing! Sometimes, the fantasy of it just ‘happening’ even if its over a long session to build up to is a sort of fantasy all of its own some ‘vanilla’ taboos of course sort of transfer over a bit into kink.
This girl is confident that nothing would ever happen in a session of any type that would hurt her in a way he didn’t intend. He can read her body and mind too well for anything serious to go wrong and he knows that too and is completely confident in his own abilities.
Yet, sometimes her needs as a masochist make her wish for more.
The problem is that masochism is an addiction. Its like sometimes there is the need to ask for more when it is already at the right level, and yet the mind asks for an extra hit. There is absolutely nothing wrong with how he plays with her, it’s perfect. It’s just sensation greed if anything.
It’s probably quite dangerous, this addiction. She is left to trust him that he will be the one who decides if ‘more’ comes or not, how and when. This girl knows herself that how her mind would judge what she thinks she can take or what she wants to happen is not necessarily the same as how her body would and so from a safety point of view it’s as well that he keeps it so balanced and makes the decisions for the most part as to what happens during play and to what level. He’s the one in control after all, so this girl shouldn’t have any complaints because more often than not his judgement would always be much more accurate than her own depraved one.
So she asks that if he loves her, he should hurt her. He should demonstrate it by doing all those things and more. His responsibility though as a dominant is to say ‘because I love you I will watch what i’m doing and keep the play as close to the edge as I can’. In a way, its sort of maybe like trying to balance a set of scales between knowing how much is too much, how much is not enough and how much is just exactly right and on the edge because its playing around that edge that is the most exhilirating. For some reason this girl feels a bit like Goldilocks with the porridge!
So maybe it’s not a case of that love hurts, but that love thrills and gets it right 😉 A loving sadist will keep his victim hovering around the edge but be always vigilant, and thats why BDSM is at its best when love is involved. It means more if you care for the person, you put in more effort and you get more out, and there’s that warm sort of fuzzy feeling when you know you’ve delivered the goods to the person that means everything to you.
This girl has played casually and its not the same, its as though something is missing, its sort of like a quick cheap hit instead of something of quality. That’s not to say she hasnt had good casual play and scenes. She has…just in comparison it pales to what she has with her Master.
Ok, so maybe sometimes he takes extra care, and extra vigilance because he doesnt want to harm the women he loves in unintentional ways, but then, thats not a bad thing, indeed its necessary because knowing that he is like that means she can feel relaxed during play. When this girl feels excited or anxious its because she is supposed to, not because she is worried as to whether he is really in control of what is going on, because thats the pivot of the fantasy – knowing that he has EVERYTHING taken care of and is in complete control of everything that happens to her.
With a man who didn’t care, or didn’t love, masochism would be a very dangerous thing indeed so its just as well that love hurts and that her sadist is not a ‘complete evil bastard’!