Bark like a dog…a big dog.

Nope this is not the movie quote game again!

This girl reads quite a lot about other people’s experiences, and its always very interesting and thought provoking BUT there is one thing really winds this girl up – submissive women that appear to have no mind of their own! Disclaimer right now – if this turns into a rant – sorry !

Something this girl read today reminded her of the film ‘Coming to America’. It’s an old Eddie Murphy film about an African prince living a pampered life who rebels when he is introduced to his bride to be – who is trained to mindlessly obey his every command regardless really of how ridiculous it is.


She is trained to like what ever food he likes,do as he says, tolerate that his bathers give him oral sex and generally be a submissive princess.

When this girl first saw this movie she would have been about 10 and so didn’t pick up on the D/s sort of theme to it as it was part of the comedy.

Exactly this is comedy – NOT real life.

It seems there are submissives out there that would maybe ‘associate’ with the submissive princess character – making sure their doms are bathed, serviced, fed correctly, obeyed regardless of what the command is…. that seems to be a fantasy for some people.

This girl however does not see submission the same way as this.

It’s not about doing EVERYTHING for your Dom. It’s not about making his life that of a prince. It’s not about washing his arse and sucking his cock and making sure he has everything just so, and the right dinner dependant on what day of the week it is.It’s not about making your daily routine Groundhog day.

Ok..maybe it is that way for some people.

But not for this girl and Grimly.

Like Eddie Murphy’s character, Grimly needed a woman who could think for herself, and be able to mentally stimulate him as well as be a sex object.

There is, of course, nothing wrong with being a sex object – just as long as its not the only thing!

For Doms, surely it must be boring after a while to know what to expect every day and tedious to have to micromanage somebody’s life. To know that everything is always going to be exactly as you want it? Where’s the variety, the suprises, the challenges?

This girl could not live like that – and neither could her Dom.

Yes obedience is important to D/s and this girl is in full agreement that doing things to please your Dom can bring great satisfaction but she needs to be her own woman in tandem with that.

She likes knowing that she can stimulate him mentally, that she can give him conversation, inspiration and debate.

Imagine if you are a Dom and every question you ask your submissive is met with ‘yes master, as you like’.

Wouldnt you get bored after so long and want something more?

Sometimes this girl wonders whether people read her blog and shake their head and think ‘you’ve got it all so wrong’ and maybe, compared to a lot of people’s versions of ‘right’ maybe it is. This girl never claims to be right, anything she says is based on her own experience and is not out of some textbook on how D/s is meant to be because no two people are the same.

All this girl claims to be is someone who can lead a balanced life, think things through for herself and be someone who can understand the needs of the man who has enslaved her. Some people might not see this girl’s slavery as real as their own, they might see her mind as too liberated.

But really…when you are used to being so tied in bondage that you can only move your eyelids..being able to have freedom in expression helps give a bit of balance. This girl’s Dom doesn’t censor what she thinks or what she writes, maybe to just make sure she allows herself enough rope to…wait…this girl isnt in to rope! :p

This girl will never be a submissive princess, perfect in every way. She’ll be better than she is now, but she wont ever be a doormat or broken record – she’ll be his equal apart from when he reminds in his own little (or completely full on) ways that she’s not.

3 thoughts on “Bark like a dog…a big dog.

  1. I think if you’re that self-effacing, it makes you seem kind of weak, and what is the point of having the submission of a weakling? It’s not hot (for me) if I feel like my submissive is doing it out of not having a good sense of self or not having any thoughts of his or her own.

  2. Bark like a dog…hmmm…I think that’s going to have to go down as one of my limits! 🙂 A perfect submissive princess sounds like a very boring, mundane position to be in…. like being a Stepford Wife 🙂 Well, I can tell you that I definitely am not shaking my head…but, nodding it… But from your earlier post…which I never had a chance to comment..I do agree that being that bondage raggy doll sounds fascinating to me…and yes, you did look like one waiting for Grimly to decide it’s time to play….

  3. Thanks for the replies 🙂

    Exactly, no one wants a robot. I have a great deal of respect for dominants who can handle someone with ‘fire’ in skilled and devious ways instead of shouting ‘you’re not a proper submissive’. The dominant needs to be worthy of the submissive and not just vice versa. I think it needs to be very two way for the dynamic to work properly, and sometimes there needs to be the challenge then the conquest.

    I suppose what i’ve been trying to say over my last few posts is that for me, how i am as his submissive and as a masochist is more intense for me because of the transformation and changes that occur in me when he asserts control, because of how he is able to get into my mind despite me for the most part being someone who can take control of their own life and make their own choices.

    I guess i enjoy presenting him with a challenge and our dynamic wouldnt work if he couldn’t meet that as he does.

    I couldnt handle a version of submission where i wasnt able to make my own choices. Like what groceries to buy or whether to go out to the shops or not. Yes, there’s certain things i’ll do that will have ‘will this make him happy’ in the subconscious…yet is that a submissive thing or a love thing. Sometimes with me the two sort of blur over a bit.

    I”m not a submissive princess, or a stepford wife, or a robot…i’m just someone that when the right buttons are pressed can sort of go somewhere else and yet return as well.

    I think what i’m trying to say is that its just about balancing the bdsm with who i am and not losing that.

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