This girl has written before at some point about how she used to have a lot of dreams about ‘torture scenarios’ when she was younger.
Particularly the same sort of reocurring dream, of waking up to find herself abandoned in a room or in a cell for then an unknown man/men to take her into a torture chamber. These dreams were mostly medieval in nature, as a lot of this girl’s bdsm fantasies can be tracked down to too much exposure to history LOL…will do you a favour though by not getting started on the crush on the history teacher again! She wasnt aware of her interest in BDSM when she was having these dreams, as she hadnt heard of it – just that the dreams turned her on rather than scared her, and it wasnt till years later that she put the two and two together. Too many years later!
Anyway, when she first got into BDSM it didnt really remind her too much of her fantasies. There wasnt the ambience, the setting, the charism and the torturer was more concerned about his own sexual gratification than forcing confession or inflicting pain. She didnt really feel close to that till the time she played at a pro dungeon which did have of course the right ambience and backdrop, but then, something was still missing and thats really why she was attracted to her Dom.
She was thinking yesterday about how she felt the first night after she played with him, and how her dreams were invaded that night. As she wrote yesterday, she had squirted him with cold water in the small hours of the morning as ‘revenge’ for being suitably evil to her, and he had reacted by putting a vibrating egg in her, and the chastity belt (with electric control) on her and taking her into his own bed to keep an eye on her. He also put leather mitts on her as well so that she couldnt touch herself really or him.
That night thinking back really was quite torturous, and so were many more after it. This girl was so turned on playing with him that it was so frustrating being in the bed of the man who had suddenly made some of her fantasies feel a lot more real and colourful without actually being able to you know, fuck him. LOL. But then, in the early days it wasnt about that, it was just play to begin with, but this girl couldnt help falling for him. It was seven months later before sex happened, and it probably made the earlier play sessions better for that, because it meant concentrating on BDSM activities and exploring those, without other things spoiling it. This girl has said before how he really was the first man she fell in love with BEFORE having sex with him, and that is true, and it was so much better for that, yet so bloody frustrating, months of being turned on and aroused to then get sent to bed. This girl with hindsight is not too sure how she survived so long because patience is not one of her virtues. lol.
But so things have been changed quite a while but he still invades her dreams and affects how she sleeps. She sleeps better when he is there. She used to think maybe that was because of the love, but probably its more likely because that where she knows where he is, and he has had quite a lot of impact on what her imagination thinks up. So now the torture is mostly in reality, instead of during sleep. Sometimes this girl still has to remind herself what is happening is happening to her, play can feel a bit like a dream…well….until it starts to really fucking hurt 🙂 So really he makes what other people would be scared of a reality ,and what this girl is truly scared of? He protects her from of course.