The rules he wrote

This girl’s Dom has recently took the time to write her out some rules and guidelines.

He’s done it with the intention of giving the D/s part of the relationship more structure and tried to make it things that he thinks she should be capable of as his submissive and not an impossible list of tasks and responsiblities.

This girl has mixed feelings about the rules!

She knows deep down that he needed to do this, and she appreciates his guidance and instruction and yet she kind of hates it too. In the same sort of way thats its only human to not really like being told what to do too much.

So he discussed the rules fully with her, and he listened to her input. This girl knows he has put a lot of effort into it and based it on what he wants, and what he thinks she wants and needs from what has gone on to date and what this girl has expressed here, and elsewhere.

He deserves for her to take this seriously and to really try it. He really does. Yet she finds it difficult. Ok so if it was easy then it wouldnt be challenging, or rewarding, or maybe really even worth doing. Its mostly about being in the right mindset and then the rest of it should follow kinda naturally.

Thats the problem. At the moment the whole submission thing doesn’t always feel natural. Sometimes it does, just its random sometimes its there sometimes its not. Maybe part of the problem is the distance, its sort of only been easy for this girl to feel all the things she needs to feel to be in the right headspace when she’s with him but harder when she’s away.

Maybe following the dress code and other little things he wants her to do away from him as well as in his presence will help that. It will maybe make her feel less like a tv thats got a faulty on-off switch that sometimes works and sometimes doesnt and thats not totally wired up as it should be.

6 thoughts on “The rules he wrote

  1. Some of these rules seem pretty tough to me, especially some of those concerning the dress code. Which ones will you particularly struggle with?

  2. Ohmy! Those are some tough rules – especially the dress code. I think wearing the 3.5″ heels at the grocery store or while taking out the garbage would be tough for me. I admire that he gave you the opportunity to gradually move into compliance.

    I personally have very few rules but those that I do have pretty much cover everything. I can relate to the TV switch analogy. I think you’ll find that complying with the rules really does help.

    Best wishes,

  3. I don’t think the rules are really that tough. When I thought about them and what I was going to set out and what I hope to achieve I had in mind things that would define the relationship based around traditional values where there are clearly defined gender roles within a marriage. Ok so maybe some of these values are not as fashionable and politically correct in this day and age but there again what is the definition of a slave in the context of this lifestyle. The dress code is as much about gender definition as my own prejudice against women in trousers. Is it too much to ask that “this girl” dresses, looks and acts like a girl?


  4. Hmm. Thanks for the comments.

    Like any part of D/s i think this is going to be something that adapts and develops. It might not stay like this. It might not work.

    But then it might.

    Most of it is not unrealistic and there’s reasons why he’s picked these things and possibly it’ll end up being a case of more the spirit of what he means than it being followed to the letter.

    Of course he’s not going to expect me to go to the gym in heeled trainers or anything like that. Some of that isnt pratical. I think efforts the main thing, and really to be honest he’s sort of given me the dress code for my benefit. I dont always make the most of what i have and I should start doing that, and a lot of the times I could look a lot better than what I do for just a bit of effort, and trying to do it will give me a) the feeling of doing something on a day to day basis that i know pleases him – which you know I do please him just by being his, but sometimes doing something active is good – and b) if i feel a bit more attractive, a bit more feminine – well thats a good thing.

    As i’ve said before the D/s part of our relationship is sort of transitional at the moment. The BDSM is great. It couldnt be better in fact but its just this bit. I’m just trying to work out how for me to feel submissive and him to feel Dominant in a way that works but that doenst take over our lives too much or be impratical, so its still in progress.

  5. Actually, I wear more skirts and dresses than anything, mostly because my Sir prefers them and also because I’m a girly-girl, so I’m sorry that’s all you saw in my comment. I apologize if you interpreted it as criticism, as it was not meant to be.

  6. Blush, I did not see your comment as criticism, my reply was explaining what my thoughts on the rules are from my perspective and to give some clarity as to my thinking behind them.


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