The ideology of Master and slave is not for everyone in BDSM or D/s relationships and some will argue that such labels are inappropriate and unrealistic given that this girl is not actually a 19th century negro suffering enforced bondage. But then, most terms used in bdsm have a slightly different meaning to society than they have to those of us who indulge in our kinky pleasures. We each have the right to refer to ourselves as we like, or what suits others who have a ‘certain influence’ over us 😉
This girl calls herself his slave because she likes it, and because he likes it and encourages her to be it. For so long it has been this girl’s fantasy to feel owned by a man who can help her explore her deepest darkest fantasies and there is something rather special about being the property of someone who can do such sexual & sadistic things to you.
This girl has written before about how she came to belong to her Master. How she was his play partner and then eventually sold herself to him, for the nominal value of a penny. He earnt the right to be her owner which is not the same as the fantasy of a slave being bought in a marketplace as she was able to choose when she offerred herself for sale and who to but still it wasn’t really a choice because by that time he had done enough to her body and mind for her to know it would be madness not to want to be his forever. From there on, her ‘training’ began, leading up to her collaring and of course it is ongoing.
There are some things that show this girl is his slave – the collar, her slave tattoo, that she orgasms when he calls her it – but the main way slavery is demonstrated is through behaviour both how she behaves towards him but how he behaves towards her as well.
Sometimes this girl worries that she is not behaving completely as a good slave should. That there is room for improvement, but then as this is ongoing development there will be room for that – but she has been thinking lately that based on what experience and training she has so far had – she should really be doing better than she is.
For a start with play she thinks she should be more compliant, and learn only to voice concerns if something is really going to be an issue. This girl really wants to feel that during play he is in control from the start to the end and she doesnt want to disrupt his flow. Mostly she does feel under his spell during play she just wants to make more of a conscientious effort to make sure she does not disrupt it. She wants to feel as though during play she is accepting his control of her and his right to do to her as he pleases, because she is his. Deep down she knows as well that she doesnt need to object if something isnt right, she trusts him and he knows her body well enough to be able to tell if something is a problem anyway and she has known that for a long time.
She wants to be more focussed on his needs as well. She wants to feel she is doing more to please her dominant. Whether it be really simple things or complicated ones. For the most part she feels she does please him but she just wants to do even better. He deserves it. This girl wants to feel as though she is really serving him as she should. She wants him to get to the point where he knows that if he asks her to do something she will do it immediately and not question him or procastinate, because this is something she is quite bad at doing. She supposes she wants him to feel that he is getting what he deserves out of the power exchange because he puts a lot of effort into being her Master into making her feel and experience all the things she wants and needs so she wants to be more aware of looking after his needs and desires as well.
This really just all boils down to the fact that she wants to be a better slave for her Master. She wants to feel as though she can honestly properly call herself that, and then each time he says it then it will mean even more. She wants to show him that she is putting in more effort.
Ok so she still needs his help and training to help her achieve these goals. She needs his support and encouragement and mostly for him to continue doing what he is doing just a little firmer, a little stricter and a little more sadistically. This girl just knows she needs a firmer hand to help her improve, and ok she might not really want it at the time but then deep down she just wants her Master to be proud of her, and if it a little pain helps keep her on the right track…well…its irrelevant that she’s a masochist 😉
This girl is still very much learning how to be the slave he wants and the slave he deserves. She will always be his, the collaring was a symbol that there is no going back on the status quo, she has never yet been able to escape any physical bondage he has put her into and she wouldnt want to escape the psychological and emotional bonds that being a slave comes with. Not now. She sometimes wonders whether she has that stockholm syndrom thing – falling in love with her enslaver – well nothing wrong with that if he’s hot and sexy now is there? Freedom is such an overated experience, this girl is happy to be his slave forever and accepts all the responsiblities and duties that go with that.