Warning – mad rambling thoughts on a Saturday night….
This girl’s fantasy Dom from when she was..erm..about 11-16…Alan Rickman….
Well he was one of two, the other was her history teacher, Mr Hill. It was kind of that way when you were at school and fancied someone you couldnt have, you picked one that was completely unobtainable and one that was in a way obtainable but that would just be WRONG and EXTREMELY UNLIKELY. Ok so she did NOT admit either of these to her peers, or what she wanted them to do to her.
Ok to be honest, she didnt know the full extent of her D/s fantasy at that age. Far from it. It was more really just a sort of inkling that there was something dark and mysterious and controlling about certain men and that it held some sort of mystery attraction. The link to torture and dungeon references is kind of critical here too. Ok so Alan, in his Sheriff of Nottingham role is the obvious one – oh to be one of those dungeon wenches ‘you my room 9.30, you 9.45’. lol. Its funny, this girl doesnt really fancy him now, but she did then. Yes, a childhood crush of sorts. Mr Hill, with his talk of torture through ages was pretty sexy as well. Apart from the lisp. He had a really dominant look, he just didnt have the voice though really and thats something thats crucial for a good Dom – to have that assertive tone of authority. She did the brat test on Mr Hill too and it didnt work. She told him to piss off once and she got sent to his office, but he just said that he wanted to be nice to her and for her to do well in her studies and speak to him in the corridors. Pah what sort of Dom is that. The fantasy was shattered! Ok so if he had bent her over his desk and found a cane or something or turned her into his personal sex slave at the age of 14 this girl would have probably been deeply into shock and phoning childline or something so its probably just as well.
Maybe this girl has had a dormant older men fantasy for more time than she’s admitted to before!
With hindsight though, a lot of her thoughts about D/s stem from thoughts she had during her teen years and really she doesnt regret that she waited until she reached sexual maturity before acting on any of them with anyone.
For years in her teens, the idea of dungeons and torture haunted this girl’s dreams. Particulary men kidnapping her in the night and taking her into a medieval or military style dungeon or torture chamber and trying to coerce things out of her. She didnt really fully understand where that fantasy came from but imagines it comes from watching too many films with that type of content and reading more literature than is healthy for someone that age, because it does appear in a lot of books in some form or other. This girl doenst believe in ‘born slaves’. It develops slowly out of something, but there has to be that trigger of some sort to start it.
It was with the advent of the internet that this girl realised what it was she thought she wanted and began to research it more, and ultimately through trial and error found the right Dom, the right torturer, the right Master. So he’s not a filmstar. Or a history teacher. Probably thats a good thing, as despite that, he can create a better portrayal of this girl’s fantasies than someone describing the medieval ages could or someone using the glitz of Hollywood.
Yep what this girl has now is a pretty accurate reflection of what all her fantasies were about. Ok, so what if she had met her Dom when she was 14 and just getting these inklings? She would have run a bloody mile! Though now, she’s mature enough to handle it and aware of the consequences and risks associated with being *his*.