Like the first time..

Its weird. This girl has been playing with her Dom around two and a half years but there are still times when it feels new and exciting. Most times in fact! More so this time though because the next time she sees him it will be their first play since their collaring.

This girl is anxious about this because since she has been collared she feels more ‘encouraged’ to be good and please him. The easiest way of explaining it is it feels like he’s done something to show that he has faith and confidence in her capability of keeping him happy and doing what he wants and not showing him up. Its sort of like a promotion in work where you are given extra tasks and you know you cant fuck up because the person who promoted you is watching what you’re doing and if you mess up then it makes them bad look too and so you feel like you do have some responsibility not to let that person down.

Thats how this girl feels. That she doesnt want to let him down after what faith and confidence he has put in her. She doesnt want anyone to think that she is not worth it, especially not him.

Maybe it is sort of a promotion, or a new challenge at least. Certainly its getting the point that this girl is more worried about failing and letting him down than she is about him thinking that maybe just maybe she does actually *want* to do it. This girl has always had some level of problems (understatement) in the past with admitting that she wants to be submissive and all the things that go with it but she does. This girl doesnt know why she has been so reluctant to come to terms with it and be honest about it openly as there’s not really anything to be scared of, she wants to submit to him, she wants him to use her, to hurt her and make her feel owned. So this, to admit it and to develop things from her as his collared slave is a big progress for her so its natural to feel nervous about it.

Its just like so many times though when she’s preparing to see him, she just feels excited, anxious, the is…its like its the first time again it feels like just before the first time she played with him…excitement, nervousness about what mad things he might do,arousal…. 😉 She wants to prove to him that she can obey and submit and also that she can take what he might choose to do to her body and mind. The mind is hard to allow someone the trust to play with but she trusts him enough to know that he will only enhance the experience for her rather than just using control to his own advantage.

In some ways it is going to be a bit different, but the good things about what this girl and her Master have always had will still be there its just been affirmed now and more set in stone. More committed.

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