(nb. sorry if this blog goes off at unrelated tangents!)
This girl sometimes gets frustrated about the distance between herself and her Master which is around 200 miles at the moment. Hopefully it wont stay as being that far forever but it makes it frustrating when either she and/or her dom are in the mood and they arent together!
To begin with, when they first met, it was the physical elements of it that this girl longed for the most as she was so happy to have found someone that could meet her masochistic needs properly that she wanted as much as she could get unsuprisingly!
However, more recently this girl has realised its the sort of mental parts of it and the actual Dom/sub things that she misses more, possibly because the D/s part of her relationship with her Dom is still developing and it took her long enough to admit to wanting to being submissive to him that now she just wants to prove it to him, but possibly more to herself as well to prove that it wasnt just a fad and that she really is more than a masochist.
There is nothing wrong obviously with being a masochist and just wanting to be hurt and not wanting to submit to someone , and its what this girl thought she was for long enough and that her relationship with her dom was purely an S/m one. However the D/s thing crept in there gradually due to fantasy,trust, love and the small matter of controlled orgasms 😉 To be honest, if someone can control your orgasms a lot of the time that is incentive to obey them LOL. Well…to a point.
This girl sometimes wonders if her desires to submit to her dom is because of her nature or nuture, and she thinks a lot of people have that debate as to whether it happens because its part *of* you or does it happen because of things that have happened to you either accidentally or on purpose. She’s sort of come to the conclusion that its probably a bit of both!
Anyway when she is away from her dom she really thinks quite a lot about it and looks forward to sort of building on that D/s element of things but then the really stupid thing is that when they are together the last couple of times what she’s wanted leading up to things isnt always how shes acted when she’s got to be with him. Its sort of sometimes like that admitting its what she wants to him and being that way is a lot more dangerous than thinking about it when shes far away and sometimes she subconsciously gets cold feet about it lol. This girl is always though going to have a bratty/challenging part to her personality though and sometimes thats going to naturally leak out as well. Although this girl supposes everything matures in its own time, even brats. Well maybe.
This girl and her master havent done what some other people do and actually do D.s long distance in the sense of doing tasks or anything for your dom from instructions because thats not how their relationship works. Distance D/s in that sense may work for some people , but this girl can only enjoy it properly if its the real thing 1on 1 in person because what works for this girl is always going to be D/s and S/m combined together rather than either in isolation.
In a way at the moment its good that the distance is there in some respects, because it means that when they are together it makes it more special and gives the fantasy its own time rather than either fitting it in around a vanilla lifestyle or trying to make it into a 24/7 thing. This girl and her dom will never ever be 24/7 in the way most people understand that concept, although whenn you’re in a BDSM relationship its always tehre in the background it should not be allowed to take over and be a way of life so in some ways lettig their bdsm and d/s relationship develop in little steps over a period of time is quite healthy and fulfilling.
Though gtting part to the intial point of this blog, its still fucking frustrating when you are in the mood and at the moment this girl is really in the mood to submit to her Master and also to be tortured by him lots and fucked and loved and cuddled 😉
Oh well only a few days to go!.