Bottoming from the top?

This girl hadnt heard of this till recently. She’d heard of topping from the bottom which is where the sub will direct/influence the top to do what the sub desires. With some subs this means that they ‘behave’ (or dont behave as the case may be! lol) to get a certain, usually predictable reaction from their Dom/me. This doesnt work with this girl’s master really as his reactions are not predictable!

Anyway, bottoming from the top. In simple terms, this is basically the Dom doing what the sub wants to be done to them, and possibly catering more for the subs desires than their own. This girl thinks its an interesting concept, but doesnt really see the difference as her Dom does pretty much what she needs/wants anyway and doesnt really see how it works when you’re in a compatible relationship where most things that either of you want to do are also a fantasy of the other. There would be little or no difference.

So a question. If a Dom is doing what his sub enjoys and loves is he really submitting to her by meeting her needs and wishes or is he really in control???

This girl could never really see her Dom submitting in any way, shape or form. He’s too much of a bloody minded and obstinate bastard for that! (funnily enough she loves him for that) At the end of the day its a happy coincidence that she and her Dom both want the same things and that she enjoys the things that he wants to do to her. Whilst on some level she is in control as she has agreed in advance the sort of things that he can do, she doesnt think that her dom doing the things she likes makes him any less of a dom or any less in control. She wouldnt want a Dom that used any power of her to make her do things that she hated or that were beyond her limits.

Besides, this girl’s Dom has so many things that he can do to her body and mind (possibly around 12,056 or so!) that although she has set the boundaries of the playing field as it were, he is still very much in control of what happens and when. Ok he’s not going to cross those boundaries but every possibility within them is under his influence to a large extent.

In BDSM a lot of the time control or power exhange is perceived rather than actual. That probably sounds like double dutch but what this girl means by that is that although to a certain extent she is always in control herself, as she can always say no, in her mind the perception sometimes is that he is in control of what happens to her. Well she supposes when she is tied up and cant do much about it maybe then the control is more actual!

With a lot of this BDSM stuff it comes back to being about what you want. If you want to feel controlled and dominated sometimes – well then it happens if you have the right person to make it to. She only feels under his spell because she wants to and gets off on that. Weird but true!

So, if she were to get her master to bottom from the top to satisfy her wishes what would she do? Hmmm…well difficult really because part of what she enjoys is spontaneity and suprise and him using his resources and imagination. This girl doesnt see the point of a scripted scene where she says ‘I want you to do x,y,z ‘ it wouldnt work. Ok it would work if she said ‘I want you to incorporate x,yz’, and she does do that sometimes if he asks her if she has any ideas as to what she wants to do, but she would still expect him to put his own fiendish twist on it to make it a bit different. At the end of the day its not as if she is a client going to a professional dungeon with expectations of what she wants to happen to meet her needs or a ‘script’ of a scenario. She gives him ideas and suggestions for him to *add* to his own ideas and to make it interesting for both of them and she thinks she inspires him too. Maybe she is his torture muse lol. She’s lucky really that she’s got someone who she isnt ever going to get bored of. Her master is not a dull unimaginative character!

But no he doesnt bottom from the top. He does what the both enjoy and that works and thats really all there is to it, and he dominates and tortures because he likes it and she likes it. Simple really!

3 thoughts on “Bottoming from the top?

  1. Well this term perfectly defines my husband. He likes his sex mildly kinky. I have a strong urge and need for more kink that he does. So I give him ideas, tell him what I’d like, and when it works out well he does them for me. The best times for me are when he does get really into it and twists it into his own thing (because while yes just being tied up like a pretty package is satisfying, having him WANT to do it and taking control of the situation and even changing things to his suiting is so much better!). I don’t want to loose my marriage over our kink levels not matching up perfectly, so we do what we can to make sure both parties are satisfied.

    …but I think I’m slowly getting him more into it. Especially when he had a lightbulb moment last night that he could just *demand* I do naughty things for him and I’d do them. Tee-hee!

  2. I think at times though can be interesting.I’m more of a S/switch by nature. Although am more Dominant. So I would say that there been times when my female partner Domed in a way to say what she wanted when I was Doming her. I don’t necesarly see the dangers in it nor the wrong in it. If both parties are happy and they enjoy it why not?
    Plus, it can also give the S/switch couple a better since of what there partners desires and wants are. I’d really think that would be a term more addressed to S/switches. Also as a way to go against them. Which happens..same as bi sexuality is not exactly a great thing to either straights or gay’s.

Leave me a comment . . .

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s