This is a blog about this girl and her BDSM to explain a few things about what works for her. Its not a blog about slavery as such and not about the old recurring theme of what is a slave or is it ethical to refer to yourself as one.
This girl didnt start seriously with BDSM till a few years ago, but it had been an interest for a lot longer than that, more subconsciously and sado-masochistically as she didn’t know prior to that other peoples thoughts on BDSM or that other people existed that were similar to this girl.
Initially she was confused by what she wanted from BDSM. It can take a good while to work out what really floats your boat and what you are, and the only way to do that is to meet other people in real life and experiment and share ideas and thoughts. Learning things about yourself and others never really stops but it does mature and get more interesting. It can only improve with time.
Anyway, a lot of people in the scene probably don’t see this girl as a “true submissive” (lets ignore for the moment that the idea of true subs, doms, masters, slaves etc is a load of bollocks LOL) a lot of people probably perceive her to be a brat that doesn’t respect the Dom/me’s she plays/has played with.
Thats not the whole story.
Credited, this girl is NEVER going to be the type of sub that publicly dotes on a Dom and goes on and on about how the Dom’s happiness is the most important thing in the world to her and that she worships the ground he walks on – because that just isn’t this girl. She’s cheeky, she’s a brat, she’s playful. Thats just who she is.
Partly because this girl is a masochist and she likes to get her Dom to respond with creative, inventive and intense torture she encourages reactive behaviour from him.
Maybe without her being a brat that would happen anyway, but she likes to challenge, and loves a battle of wills and ultimately it adds to the fun – the power exchange, the capture and of course the play that results from it. This girl is not the type of person that will submit and obey just because shei feel its “supposed” to be that way, she needs to be **shown** that its supposed to be that way and that she doesn’t have absolutely any choice in the matter and to be honest she get off very highly in having control and her power to do anything about whats happening to her being taken away – the more imaginatively the better!
This girl likes it when her Dom showcase his talents in the fields of persuasion and correction.
This girl doesnt always see herself as a slave as such, only in the sense that she like to feel totally possessed when she plays, but NOT at other times. This girl is not on this planet to be someones servant and to do everything under the sun for them. Nope!
This girl like to feel that when she’s actually playing she has no control over whats happening, obviously technically she does, because nothing non-consensual or harmful is ever going to happen to her because she would only ever play with Dom/mes that she trusts and who are able to read her enough to know what is working and what isn’t. There’s not really that many people she trusts enough to let take control of her though!
Because of trust with her master this girl doesn’t feel the need for limits and safewords as such. Yes, obviously, she DOES have limits…she’s not one of this silly people that will go up to a Mistress and say please Miss you can do anything you want to me anything at all i will even jump off a bridge if you want LOL. But this girl thinks a good Dom will take time to learn his subs capabilities and to communicate with her as regards this. A good Dom should be able to tell whether his sub is enjoying herself or not, or whether she has cramp and needs to stop or whatever. If you can’t trust a Dom to be able to play with you without feeling that he’s keeping an eye on your welfare then you shouldn’t be playing with him in the first place. This girl doesn’t think you can totally relax into a scene unless you feel totally comfortable with who is playing with you and unless you are able to communicate with them about things. Obviously trusting someone to really really push you takes time to build up but it is worth it.
Really the only limit is for the Dom to have and that is
“i refuse to do anything that will bring you to harm mentally or physically”
The bottom line is that this girl is a challenging type of person who *can* submit, but likes the feeling of being shown and reminded why she has to and having her control of the situation sent spinning away from me. She likes to push and she likes being pushed back Its just part of the fun for her.
Although there is a problem, if you constantly test a Dom into asserting his control through his talents then eventally, one day…sometime….with a LOT of patience and experimentation…he is ACTUALLY going to get through and that reminder of who’s in control might just stick there….its quite a scary feeling knowing that you’re doomed because its not as though this girl is exactly playing with someone stupid who won’t do everything imaginable to win. Nope…more like the most devious bastard ever on the planet LOL.