This girl came across a post on Bondage.com that quoted :
“A sadist truely does not want their victim to be happy. Therefore one engaged in consensual BDSM cannot be a sadist”.
This girl disagrees. She knows people that she would define, maybe not always, but at certain points during play as “sadists”
To this girl, yes, a sadist is one who derives pleasure from inflicting pain on someone else.
The problem with a lot of BDSM terms including these :-
slave mistress masochist submissive dominant sadist ownership master – and the list can go on more than that.
is that in an everyday context their meaning can very well be something that would be deemed to be “socially unacceptable”. Oh what we do is socially unacceptable anyway.
Back on the point though, in normal society a sadist is an evil person who likes inflicting pain/torture onto someone and can be a sick individual involved in fascist regimes or crimes against humanity.
But in consensual BDSM, to this girl it means someone who likes inflicting pain and LOVES doing it, but are still appreciative of the feelings of the other person and their desires and they get off on giving that person what they want to receive as well as from giving it. A two way thing.
This girl would say that a lot of words we use in BDSM have so many different meanings. But she does not see what is wrong as having the words of sadism and masochism out there to be used if people want to class what they do as that. Because there are people who just simply don’t class what they do as ‘Mills & Boon’ style D/s.
Master definately fits this girl’s definition of a sadist. He delights in torture, in being evil and being cruelly inventive and deviant. That much is obvious.
However, although sometimes she can get caught up in the game, she knows deep down that he is never going to harm her. Hurt yes, hurt to arouse and to give her the feeling of pain mingled with pleasure, but harm or wound, or mentally upset, not ever. Thats where trust comes into it. She knows he wont cross the invisble line
Whilst he might delight in her pain and discomfort, this girl knows that what he cherishes most is just being with her, holding her in his arms and seeing her smile, and knowing that she is his. Maybe that does sound a bit Mills & Boon but this girl knows the difference between fantasy and reality and is happy with both parallels.