Just sort of following on from her last blog, this girl doesnt necessarily see herself as a ‘pro-submissive’ as such, as it is not something she does regularly, or as a main occupation.
This girl has come across many people that do make their main living from BDSM and fetish but could never be one of them.
She first came across the professional scene when her ex-Dom wanted her to experience an austere Dungeon setting so arranged for the two of them to visit a professional Mistress in a local Dungeon.
This is now several years ago, but this girl can still remember it quite clearly. She can remember feeling very nervous as she had never played with 2 doms before, let alone paid anyone for it, but she had always fantasised about being ‘tortured’ in a medieval style dungeon and so it was something she thought was worth paying for, at least once.
Anyway, when she arrived she chatted with her partner and the Mistress about what the session would entail and what her limits were etc and how the session would begin. This girl was to kneel in the dungeon, naked apart from a thong and a collar and wait for her Dom & Mistress to arrive. It was quite cold to wait in the dungeon, and made her feel very much put in her place with her head bowed to the floor. When the two Doms arrived they flogged this girl against the wall and also used candle wax and various sensation play on her on a bondage style table. This girl enjoyed it quite a lot but there was something missing. This girl has since worked out really that you can only thoroughly enjoy BDSM play with someone if that mental connection is there. It was worth experimenting with though, to see what it was like to play in that type of setting and ambience.
The professional Mistress really liked this girl however, and asked her to return as a servant. Now being quite new at the time this girl was thrilled and was excited at the opportunity, however she since found that being a dungeon slave was not all it was cracked up to be. She didnt really feel valued, and was made to feel more like a skivvy than anything and being a free cleaner was not part of her fantasy! So that didnt last. In addition to that she had a lot of personal goings on at the time and it just didnt seem to fit.
She tried it again in another dungeon, around a year later, both as a pro sub and once as a professional dominatrix, but being a professional dominatrix was definately not for her. This girl is much of the mind that she prefers to choose who she plays with and to build up a relationship with them rather than one offs. Also she did not feel comfortable with the fact that sometimes male clients feel the desire to want to ‘relieve themselves’ (without her being active just being in the room) and she did not feel comfortable with that at all. When someone is paying you to play you have to cater and accommodate for their fantasies more than you do for your own, rather than it really being mutual as it is in a relationship.
So in short this girl feels kind of used and grossed out by the pro BDSM scene. For a lot of people it will be very enjoyable and financially productive, but this girl would never want to make a full time career out of something which is in short her sexual kink and something that provides her much enjoyment. She would never want to feel like it is a ‘job’.
This girl is very much in support of people that do provide a dungeon , or similar service, as a business, as it is at the end of the day, meeting a need in people that cannot perhaps get it elsewhere. However, the way this girl sees it is that she would never want to play with anyone where the only benefit she got from it was financial. She needs her emotional, physical and mental needs to be met as well and most of all to enjoy it.
However, as mentioned in her previous blog, this girl is to some extent a professional ‘spankee’. This involves only corporal punishment (spanking,caning,tawsing) and therefore does not feel as invasive as pro BDSM. It involves mainly the occasional photo or video shoot, or spanking party and infrequently one on one sessions. All of the men this girl knows through the spanking scene are very nice and usually everything she does with them is stuff she would do, in theory, for free. And thats how it should be, this girl doesnt think you should take money from playing unless you enjoy it too, because if you cant show you’re enjoying it then it isnt possibly giving the client the best experience they are hoping for.
In addition to this , having this corporal punishment arrangement meets a need of this girl’s own. Her Master isnt particularly into corporal punishment (she’ll embelish more on this in another blog – but he’s more into things where he’s had to put more thought and imagination and creativity and deviance into it!) and although she doesnt really mind that it helps her that she can get this need met elsewhere like she did the other day and get pocket money for it too.
In short this girl thinks that sometimes the presence of pro Doms and subs can be mutually beneficial, but you just need to be careful that wanting to make money from something doesnt take away the fun, enjoyment or kink from it, so this girl would advise only think about doing a bdsm activity for cash if you would happily play with that person (and enjoy it) for free.
Although really, this girl thinks that you can never really experience the full joys of BDSM unless its with someone that you’re in a loving and happy well rounded relationship with, and anything else can only come second.