“Just recently this girl was asked to review the book ‘Good Girl….’
“Hi – Your site is amazing. I’m not saying that because this is a book review request. I’m saying that because 7 months ago I didn’t know the term BDSM, and last night I was on my knees at a play party, serving my Dom. Again. I wish I’d known about your guide much sooner — it would have smoothed the bumpy road to submission a little.
So this girl agreed to take a look at the book – all she received for the following review was a free PDF version.
The book is great for new submissives who have perhaps just got into D/s after discovering it either through their partner’s interest or by reading something on the internet or reading something like 50 shades or other fiction that gets them thinking ‘that stuff might be me’.
It is written part like a conversation the main writer ‘Baby’ is having with the reader and part like a text-book with helpful tips highlighted at the top of each page for quick reference and ease of reading.
Baby is new to D/s yet comes across as very switched on (whether though she actually ends up switching remains to be seen
) and gives very good advice. This girl has to be honest in that had she read something like this when she herself was new it might have helped her avoid relationship mistakes. Reading back some of the points now make her think ‘well yes that is obvious’ but when you are swept away by discovering kink and a new man it is so easy to get lost and end up in a bad relationship.
There are a lot of comments in the book that this girl agrees with, such as :
“My Dom is also my friend. He cares about me and respects me. He doesn’t call me fat or stupid, he doesn’t screw around with my relationships or my career, he doesn’t use me. In other words, he’s not a dick. If I want to be verbally abused, I can stop by my in-laws’ house. I don’t need it in the bedroom.
Being a Sub is so fun. That’s why I do it. I love it, I crave it, and it gets me off. Again and again and again. I don’t know whether you’re married, in a relationship or just looking for a quick BDSM fix, but if you’re not having fun, why bother? ”
There are quite a lot of funny and heartfelt notes too :
“Sir explained that BDSM has a spectrum of levels, depending on how serious you want to get. It starts with “Giving Control,” the first level, and goes all the way to “Above and Beyond” – things you probably never imagined.
I know . . . these are boring category names. Sir was in charge of these. After reading Sir’s notes on “Above and Beyond,” I’m particularly unhappy with that category name. I think it should be called:
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND”
This girl feels that for someone so new into D/s Baby provides a lot of wonderful insights that will help the new submissive. However there are a lot of anecdotes that even someone with more experience will relate to and smile at.
“As it turns out, being in a D/s relationship isn’t that simple. It’s not a game of checkers that you master in a few days. It’s a video game with endless levels. Once I mastered those first five rules . . . mostly . . . I got the bells and whistles, but then I was transported to a new, more challenging level. “
This girl enjoyed reading Baby’s thoughts and truly believes it will help people who are new into the discovery of D/s. It will be interesting to see if Baby revisits her thoughts and writes more as her relationship develops and she works her way through the different ‘levels of the game’.
Sounds a good, and well thought out book, judging by your comments, especially for anyone new, or newish to the scene
Sounds excellent but, if she is really a noob, it will be interesting to see how her attitudes alter over the years. I admit that, when I was new to the D/s scene, I wouldn’t have dared give advise except on a one to one basis, and then solely based on my own limited experiences..
I am still hesitant as, if there is one thing I have learned over the last ten years, is how everyone’s experiences differ and how each couple or triad find their own solutions to their individual problems,.
All the same it’s a great idea and I hope it proves useful to a lot of people in the scene.
thanks stevie, i enjoyed reading it and well it made sense to me putting myself in the position of what my newly kinky self would have thought opposed to my 10 year kinky self LOL
Jane, thanks for your comment, her advise is just about really meeting someone/ being happy about being in a d/s relationship, learning together that kind of thing. I think new people sometimes need that kind of advise, i mean i got in a total mess when I was new ended up with someone who didn’t make me happy and well maybe that wouldn’t have changed if i’d had more guidance – well certainly towards the end people were telling me he was no good and i didn’t listen…well i think any support is good
I hope really too that what i write supports people and encourages them to think about things and challenge things too for the positive
You are dead right, of course.
I was a little prickly when I wrote my initial Comment as I had just received a loooooong email from an “BDSM Relationship Expert” telling me what I was doing wrong. She recommended I read all her advice with great care and acted on her ‘deep experience’ in future.
It didn’t take long to discover that this ‘expert’ had only been in a D/s relationship for a short time (I guess about 6 months) and her advice was written on the basis of failure – the relationship had folded which meant, to her, she knew everything.
Ooops, I shouldn’t be sounding off but I wanted to explain my maybe harsh assessment of the book you had talked about.
Big hugs and I hope you are not snowed in.
(A friend of mine who lives on the Welsh border has just emailed me to say they are literally snowed in and can’t even get down their drive. Obviously the UK has gone to pot since I moved out!!!!!)
i don’t think you were, the thing is there are always people saying how it should be done. Sometimes they are right, sometimes they are wrong and sometimes they are partially right.
We have no snow so far, it snowed a bit today but then melted. My folks have a lot though.
i’m partially jealous of the people with snow, i would like some snow bondage pictures! But ….snow is a pain for getting to work and stuff.
I can lend you a few million tonnes of snow if you’ll pay the postage. Plenty here