The ‘Used’ fantasy?

Being ‘used’.

Some people might argue that it is one of those fundamental parts of being a slave and a big part of what a lot of Master/slave relationships may be based on. The idea that the owner can do what he wants, when he wants regardless of the slave’s feelings about the act can be a fundamental part of the dynamic in some couples, but this girl isn’t sure really whether that is what her relationship with Grimly is all about.

 

Let’s assume that consent is given to the ‘usage’ treatment when the relationship is commenced, when the power is exchanged for the first time, when contracts are signed or when some other form of ‘understanding’ is reached and when the deal is sealed. Consent itself is of course one of those grey areas and sometimes it is difficult to define where and when it should be given. This girl views her consent as being explicity and expressly given at the point when she sold herself to her Master. It was a symbolic way of saying ‘from now on you decide what happens, what you do to my body, how you enhance our dynamic, how you assert your control of me…how you use me’.

Within Grimly and this girl’s relationship much is based on trust and communication, so she doesn’t need to express consent at every little thing in fact if he had to check everytime whether certain things were okay or not then it would take away a lot of his control. It wouldn’t work because it’s an integral part of the fantasy – the feeling that he is in control of what happens to her physically and psychologically in terms of being his submissive. Of course, if this girl is unsure of how something will work or has some sort of concern about what is going to happen she will talk to him about it.

Generally, he knows her body and mind well enough to know what his slave is comfortable with, what will push her and also what will make her beg for mercy or for orgasm. This girl thinks any good dominant needs to know that ability to know how his girl ‘ticks’.

Grimly’s girl ticks like some sort of nymphomaniac and sexual deviant! He knows that. He knows about her sense of adventure and her fantasies of bondage, torture and ownership.

This girl loves feeling owned. Partly for erotic reasons but also because his ownership of her feels stable, rock solid and unescapable. This girl would never want to escape what she has with her Master. Why would she? Being his is the perfect predicament for someone like this girl. She has an owner who is sexy, creative, devious,imaginative and completely in love with her. He knows her. He knows what will turn on and he knows that covers mostly everything that he would consider doing.

So given that, is there room in this relationship of kink and torture for this girl to feel as though she is being used? How can she feel used by him if everytime he touches her she wants it and longs for it? Its a bit contradictory.

The concept, when unravelled, is in principle a negative one and non-consensual, and yet can be incredibly erotic, provided some sort of balance is kept and it is not turned into abuse or misery. This girl has come across Doms that are experts in making a woman feel used and taken advantage of in every way – sexually,emotionally and financially. It leads ultimately to unhappiness because there’s nothing to balance those feelings out and the feeling of being used stops being an erotic fantasy. There’s no perks.

Ok. Traditional slavery didnt have any perks either but really how close is this to traditional slavery, because after all we are NOT forced into this, we are adults living in a mutually fulfilling romantic and sexual relationship albeit with many elements of discipline, bondage and erotic suffering.

Of course, the reasons why this is fulfilling to this girl are in a lot of respects the reverse of why being in this kind of relationship is fuliflling for Grimly. Though thats really how it goes – he is black to her white, villain to her heroine and of course Master to her slave.

She loves every moment of it and he has never really made her feel ‘taken advatage of ‘. It is extremely difficult though to take advantage of someone who clearly makes it obvious that she wants it.

Though last night was a bit different.

After an evening of various fun and games he took her to his bedroom, restrained and hooded and fucked her.

Though her mind was willing, her body was not as sometimes there is such a thing as too many orgasms. It is quite a rare occurence but possible nonetheless. So she was dry, and totally orgasmed out.

She tried to get herself into the correct mindset, she tried to become aroused by the bondage, by the feeling of his cock and by the feeling of being ‘taken’ but it didnt’ work. In fact it felt as though the harder she tried to make it work it just didn’t. At times the body just won’t go where the mind tries to direct it.

So normally at that point, he would have stopped, feeling his girl’s body to be unreceptive he would have abandoned it and waited for a more pleasurable and mutually satisfying experience later. But this time he continued. He added lube and continued to fuck her. Though this girl was kind of numb to it and it lacked the pleasure and intense orgasms that sex with Grimly normally comes with. It’s not to say it was without any fun, especially given how wonderful it felt when he orgasmed but it wasn’t really what this girl and Grimly are about and he didnt enjoy it as much as usual sex either.

There have been times when she’s been taken and bent into all manner of positions, tortured and racked with pain and screaming and yet every single time she’s dripping with horniness because it’s exactly what she wants.

To truly feel used she would have to *not* want it.

She would have to hate the intrusion of his body and mind into hers. It would have to feel like an invasion and a subsequent conquest. But this girl knows the conquest already took place some years ago now.

He doesn’t need to take advantage of an unwilling victim to try and reinforce his role, when it is much more effective to twist and modify her when she is eager and open to being subjected to his devious intervention – which equates to about 95% of their time together.

He doesn’t want her to hate him or be repulsed by his touch as she was with the last man who tried to assert his dominance by pressing sexual attentions on her when she didn’t want them. Her ex had this thing about only wanting to use her when she was not sexually turned on to prove his ownership and control of her, he said if she did it because she enjoyed it she wasn’t really submitting. What a load of bollocks!

Grimly does want to use this girl, but for more devious activities and purposes than his immediate sexual gratification, it goes much deeper and darker than that.

Anyone can tie someone up, force them into sex or degrading,kinky and humiliating acts.

When this girl first got into BDSM she thought she wanted to be forced and dominanted into her choices by pain and that her submission would be erotically ripped from her body and that she would beg …you know the script…please please i’ll do anything you want.

But now, it’s not really like that. In a lot of ways Grimly has taken this girl’s submission, but he’s done it by totally getting into her head and what encourages her and motivates her submission is so much deeper than a fear of pain and he can assert his control just so easily by a few words. Who knows to feel used when feeling controlled is so much deeper, especially when behind that control there is a lot of love.

He has her exactly where wants her and because of that he doesn’t need to use or manipulate her. He just needs to enjoy  her being willingly and lovingly HIS.