Duty of care

Now if you read here regularly, you may recall this girl mentioning one of Grimly’s alterego’s Dr Feendish. A little more sadistic, a little less personal and a lot more frightening, Dr Feendish is a bit of a role play character that came to life when no one was looking, or at least he feels real to this girl when he’s doing his various guinea pig tests on her. But, have you met the nurse? She can be just as horrible. As a squealing rubber doll found out! Poor STEFFY!

Well, the thing is, Steffy did insist upon trying Grimly’s chair, and it seemed the most interesting way!

Steffy was wired up, rubbered up and tied up and then made to watch herself being played with via the video mask which was connected to the video camera at the left of the picture. The nurse was pretty horrible and inventive in trying to get the doll to react and scream – but the doll didn’t break (this time ) but you know – it’s hard with all that rubber in the way to get to any bits that hurt – rubber does have some disadvantages! Though the boots are hot aren’t they?

Getting the opportunity to be sadistic for a change is an interesting experience for this girl  - to not quite be in Grimly’s shoes (though she could – he’s the same size) but to get to try things from the other side. It’s actually pretty difficult to be balanced at being sadistic – it’s tempting to get carried away – especially when you have a featureless doll in your clutches – and that is a dangerous thing. You are the responsible one. This girl knows only two well that a masochist will push and push for pain and stimulation and that sometimes it has to be the sadist or top that takes the decision to slow things down or change to something else – because otherwise things can start going a bit too far. The same problem as with any addiction. The dom is sort of the dealer – the one pushing it , contolling the addiction – and the subby is the one hooked on it. Well maybe that analogy doesn’t work in all cases – but it explains the point this girl is trying to make.

Sometimes having that control and responsibility is a good thing.

This girl used to play with a subbie boy who she could get into sub space quite easily. She’d worked out what worked for him , what buttons to press and how to get him there. It was an amazing feeling knowing that she could do that. Though probably this girl isn’t a proper sadistic in so much as the thing she got out of it the most was the satisfaction and glow that comes with making a friend happy – she didn’t get off on inflicting the pain for its own sake as much. Though…the time she tied his cock to the rack to give him a mind fuck was fun… The problem is though when things go wrong. The rotten feeling you get when you maybe inflict something that wasn’t intended. It hasn’t happened when this girl has topped very often – but once she accidentally cut her ex subbie girl which she hadn’t meant. The fact that the girl actually LIKED being cut didn’t matter – it wasn’t what this girl had intended or part of how the scene was expected to go so she felt rotten . Felt guilty for letting that happen. But then, if she hadn’t felt guilty about something going wrong then that would be worse wouldn’t it? It’s better to care than to be a cold heartless bastard – the fact that this girl likes to sometimes fantasise that Grimly is a cold heartless bastard is totally different (especially since he isn’t really or at least not for very long!) Caring for the person you play with is the most important thing of all, caring for them and respecting them and of course that goes for subs caring for their Doms too.

Though, as a dom or a top it’s a great deal of responsbility – to work out how to do the scene, how to make sure it works – in how imaginative and creative it is and at the same time keep it within the limits of the sub you’re playing with (which is of course easier as you get to know them better) but with enough push to give the masochist in them a good seeing to!

That is not a responsbility this girl would ever want full time. It’s nice to experience it sometimes but she’s a receiver, a masochist, and a pain slut and better at that than she is at being top.

This girl used to think she was an OK top until she met Grimly. She can do corporal punishment style play fine and bondage and all of that, but Grimly style play is different. The whole gadgetry – this girl doesn’t understand all that. She knows black is negative and red is positive and that’s about it. She could learn how it works so that she could do it to someone else – but it would sort of take away some of the magic that she has with Grimly – she likes having a bit of mystery to it and him using his technical ability and imagination to impress her. Somethings wouldnt be the same if she knew how they worked. Like the orgasm trigger thing for instance. Its sort of magic, she doesn’t want the magic to break.

It’s hard being top in front of Grimly too and in Grimly’s playroom. It’s like HIS habitat. This girl doesn’t feel as though she can really get into totally the right headspace for being top/dom/sadist whatever there, in front of him. Maybe that’s a good thing, it’s better to have one dynamic that really works than loads that don’t quite tick all the boxes. Maybe that will change one day in the future maybe this girl was gain more confidence in topping again, she had it once. She still feels good giving those sensations and kicks to other people, and it was so much fun having Steffy in the chair.It probably needs for Grimly not to be there – so that this girl can take control of the situation and not feel as though she’s doing it to impress him as well as the reciever, and might stop her feeling as though she needs to compare her style to his – because it’s really not the same! That and maybe she needs a regular subby to gain knowledge of and experiment on – but that’s really not a good idea whilst her time at Grimly’s with all those toys is already limited! Though who knows what might happen in the future 

Whilst it’s tempting to crave having all that control, all that power ,and responsbility…

this girl knows what side her bread’s buttered…

and so probably did Steffy….cuz the doll got her own back! Watch this space

 

7/7

Not a day for writing about BDSM.

From today’s news :-

A £1m permanent memorial to the victims of the 7 July 2005 London bombings is to be unveiled in the city’s Hyde Park.

Fifty-two people died and hundreds more were injured when suicide bombers detonated backpacks at four central locations on public transport.

Families of those killed will gather later to see it publicly revealed.

Relatives who have seen the 52, 3.5m (11.5ft) tall stainless steel pillars – grouped to represent the attack sites – say they form a “fitting tribute”.

Read the rest – here

This girl’s thoughts on 7 /7 – here

 

What its all about

This girl get’s this thing a lot. Of – ‘Wow…i wish you/someone would do that to me’. But would they really want what this girl has? Really? If they knew the warts and all? 

People are attracted to what is on the surface. The kit. The concept. Gosh, maybe there are some people with kinks twisted enough to even be attracted to this girl…or Grimly…now that is a niche kink to have!

But the whole BDSM thing is an elaborate game or fantasy. This girl has pretty much learnt that the whole idea is to really see how far you can explore this concept of pleasure and pain. How detailed you can make it. How alive it can become and how much you can make yourself believe in it for that moment. This girl is not one of those ‘lifestyle’ people. This is not her life. This is part of it. A significant part, but not the pivot of everything. Grimly owns her, and she belongs to him – but that would be the case with or without all this amazing paraphernalia.

In all honesty, the attraction started with BDSM, but it’s not everything. These people that live their lives for it and it alone well perhaps they’re the ones living in a fantasy world. This girl knows she is lucky to have what she has. Though not because of the kit or because of the stuff you see. Because that’s the shallow stuff.

It means a lot more to have someone to share this with. Otherwise what is it – a visit to a pro, a casual session, self gratification – it’s better with a regular friend and collaborator.

This weekend sort of showed that.

This girl and Grimly had planned to play extensively, take lots of pictures of it. Show off, whatever. Have lots of sex.

Then the heatwave happened. It was just too hot to think about playing much.

Though some play happened and some fantastic sex with earth shattering orgasms. Though, at the moment this girl doesn’t feel really like writing about the experience of being doubly hooked and hanging from the ceiling in bondage. It doesn’t feel important at the moment. Maybe there are people there that would want to read about that – but when you know that really this girl was dripping with sweat, and Grimly was wearing shorts does it sound all that erotic? lol The imagery just doesn’t work quite the same.

This girl doesn’t write here to maintain some imagery or illusion of what BDSM should be like – it’s just what its like for her, and that sometimes involves things besides bondage , latex and electrocution. Sometimes it involves that mushy lovey stuff. So that’s the way things are.

This weekend, what meant the most was paddling together at the seaside, cooling off after a nice dinner.

Though the play was amazing, it wasn’t the only thing that mattered and it never is.

So maybe that shatters some folks illusion of BDSM that its not like some porn movie or internet photo set. It’s not glamour, it’s not about constantly being dressed in latex, or kept naked and leashed in the kitchen.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t pursue whatever fantasy it is you desire (within obviously it being relatively safe, sane and consensual) but just be aware that there is more to it than instant gratification. Sometimes you find that you just want to spend time with the person who does all that stuff for you, just for the sake of spending time with them.

Playing with dolls

This girl and Grimly recently entertained STEFFY, the canadian rubber doll. If you are active on rubberpal then STEFFY doesn’t need much of an introduction.  Though if not, STEFFY is a rubberist who concentrates her play on achieving the look of the rubber doll – feminine, kinky, and extremely shiny!

It was interesting to meet her because she is someone that has perfected this kink to a very effective level, to achieve the look of what many rubberists see as being the goal and the ultimate rubber doll transformation. That is actually the most impressive part. How Steffy goes from her normal every day self to what you see in the picture. It takes a lot of time, and quite a lot of layers of latex!  To get the ideal rubber doll shape, she temporarily modifies her body to give bigger breasts and thighs with the help of some inflatable rubber, and has found the mask that suits her face for the look that she wants.  In addition to that, she has made several sexy outfits because ‘otherwise you’d just be playing with a naked doll’. Would that be so wrong?

It’s weird playing with the doll.

When you’re a little kid, you sort of play with your dolls and toys and play games where you pretend they are animated and have life and personality and you use your imagination to make it feel as though they come to life. This girl thinks that when you are playing with a rubber doll you are in a lot of ways doing the opposite of that and your mind hides the fact that there is a person under those layers of latex.  Though, you are reminded when the doll squirms a bit, or makes a bit of noise from pleasure or pain. 

 It’s something this girl is very interested in. Being transformed into a doll or a toy, to be tied up and tormented for his amusement with aboslutely no control over the situation. In a lot of ways, how she plays with Grimly is already like that but this sort of it takes it to another level again. It would be interesting to feel trapped inside that body, sort of captured within the imagery of someone else – because on the outside – you look totally different. There are times when people want that, women especially, to feel as though they are someone more glamorous, more beautiful  – and less flawed and blemished. The rubber doll has none of those issues. It looks like whatever you want it to, limited only by your imagination (ok and budget).

There are however a few downsides to it. The doll doesn’t have very many expressions – the facial features do not change – apart from the eyes a little – unless you choose a mask that is more anime style that doesn’t even have that. Because of that, this girl and Grimly found it was sometimes harder than normal to gauge reactions to play and to situations because the doll is less communicative than a normal mascohist. This girl might be wrong, but she felt as though Steffy went as far as trying to stifle any reactions to avoid tripping out of doll space.

But thats part of the doll fantasy. To feel unable to stop yourself from being played with, to losing control and surrendering to the person playing with you. This is maybe the part where any karma there might have been for being evil to your toys as a kid comes back on you Though this girl wasn’t too bad. The worst thing she probably ever did was to get to that age when you stop feeling as though the toys are real and you grow out of them and put them in the attic gathering dust. Somehow, this girl doesn’t think Steffy is ever likely to end up dusty in someone’s attic (despite the picture below)

 BDSM and this whole thing helped this girl kickstart her imagination again. After having gone through the age of not believing in things, she found that since she met Grimly she could realise some of the things that prior to that were only thoughts and dreams and beyond reality. That really is the whole point of BDSM for this girl – it’s escapism, it’s fantasy, it’s whatever your imagination wants it to be, oh and it feels good

Since meeting Grimly, this girl felt as though one of her toys came back to her life – her favourite bear started becoming more expressive again, more realistic, more loving. Though you know, you can choose what you believe in, it doesn’t matter if other people think it’s silly or childlike.

Though…it’s very hard not to believe in a 6 foot doll tied up in your playroom

Three

This blog is three. Well, as of yesterday, though, given this girl was distracted by a charming man in leather somehow she didn’t seem to have the time to write!

This girl didn’t really expect the blog to have lasted as long as this, given it started out as a pretty personal thing between her and Grimly and as a sort of anonymous voice. To a lot of people this girl is no longer anonymous. Quite  a few people know the ‘real’ person behind the kink, and that’s rather nice. This girl considers sometimes whether that makes her censor things a bit more, but it doesn’t really since those people have gotten to know her for who she is warts and all.

This girl likes it when people make the effort to get to know her because of something she’s written about her feelings and adventures with Grimly. Some people still seem to assume though that just saying hello gets an invite into Grimly and this girl’s little corner of kink. Nope. It took this girl a lot more than that. A bit of effort, showing indication to try things, being adventurous , being fun and getting to know him. Its funny how despite things moving on, some things stay the same and there are always fuckwits out there that think there is some easy route to fantastic BDSM and D/s. There isn’t. Gosh, after all this time this girl is still working at that – though slowly getting there. She was thinking the other day how it might be fun to pretend some time in the near future that it’s the first visit again – trying to recreate the anxiety and excitement, and yet with more structure to it. Though of course, that excitement is always there. Like yesterday, even though this girl had only seen Grimly six days before she still had butterflies awaiting for him to arrive. Hopefully she’ll always feel that way about him, maybe she’ll still write about that when she’s old and grey but would people be interested still?

Some days it’s hard to keep this thing going – keep writing about BDSM in a way that people might find interesting and fun. Though, this girl isn’t giving up on it. There’s always something going on and certainly the next few months should get rather interesting So, this girl will just write when there’s something to say, rather than finding laboured topics to write about. Though, if there’s something you want to ask or her to write about just drop an email since this girl is quite happy to hear suggestions as to where people might like this blog to go

Slave for a day?

This girl’s work have a charity day soon. Apparently one of the ideas to raise money is that one of the departments are going to offer themselves to be sold as slaves for the day. Of course, that’s not going to involve any element of human bondage. Some of the male members of staff might think of the imagery above, or of getting free blow jobs. But of course it’s not going to be like that. It’s  going to involve things like fetching the coffee and doing other mundane chores…now wait….part of that sounds a bit familiar lol.

Though of course, what people at work think of as slavery won’t be the same as what this girl thinks of it…or at least not the same as the personal context she thinks of it.

The idea got this girl thinking a bit. A lot of people probably wouldn’t agree that this girl is a slave. (Let’s avoid the historical arguement) Some people might think she’s too headstrong and too opinionated for that role, and maybe, sometimes she is. This girl wondered if she could be someone else’s slave for a day. Whether she could obey someone, just for the sake of being in human bondage and no other reason than because someone had paid for her and expected obedience in return for their purchase. She’s not sure she could do that.This girl has been in a situation before she met Grimly when she was a pro sub, and was looking very slave-like – in a cage, half naked and collared. A man walked in and spoke to her as though she was a piece of dirt, it wasn’t part of a session, just a visitor to the dungeon. He assumed because of how she had been left that he could talk to her like a lessor individual? On any level was he right to do that without at least asking the Mistress in charge of the situation? Well, this girl wasn’t comfortable with it. She wasn’t comfortable with a stranger trying to enforce a dynamic without being prewarned of it. This girl of course always tries to treat other dominants with respect, but when they approach with assumptions that they are in control of her, well, it doesn’t  feel right. This girl wasn’t a pro dungeon sub for much longer than that, whilst she’s always felt the desire to belong to someone it didn’t feel right to be paid for so casually…it felt kind of tacky.

Maybe this girl could obey someone else if Grimly arranged it – but the likelihood of him wanting to is pretty unlikely. Perhaps if he agreed the terms, and left it for her to trust his judgement those terms would be met it would work. Of course, at the moment the focus is on obeying him properly and learning how to serve him how he wants. An ongoing lesson.

This girl wanted to belong to Grimly very soon after first playing with him. He demonstrated that he deserved her respect and obedience, and that she could trust her body and mind to him knowing it wouldn’t come to harm. Sometimes she has to remind herself of that. Maybe this girl isn’t ‘a slave’ in the sort of definition some BDSMers would use. She could not suddenly obey a stranger. She needs to trust the person to know what they are doing, and that they wont take her to a place that she doesn’t want to go. So maybe she’s just a slave for him. Though, it’s just another word for signifying a committed relationship – with a bit of fantasy and kink thrown in. It means a lot, it means a very deep commitment indeed. This girl needs the full package to feel owned by someone – she needs it to be part of a loving and fun relationship.

Lately, this girl has been trying to meet Grimly’s needs more in what he needs from his slave, and in that respect another stint in chastity starts later. It’s odd actually, the feeling of getting aroused awaiting to get ready for bed in the way that he wants….knowing a few hundred miles away he’s picturing her there for him.

Long distance relationships suck. Even more so when its *this* type of relationship. This girl is doing her upmost to signify to him how much his ownership of her means and that it means more than just a few weekends of kinky play here and there. This girl doesn’t want to be a slave for a day, a weekend, a week…but all the time. Perhaps not explicitly, since that’s not practical, but she wants him to know that she’s his, always.

A few days ago was the 2nd anniversary of Grimly collaring this girl ....happy anniversary Master

‘What I did on my holidays’

A reference to a book written by the character Twoflower in Pratchett’s Discworld Series – it tells his stories of being the disc’s first tourist and his tales of experiencing wild adventures including dragons, wizards and falling off the planet.

This girl’s holidays haven’t been quite as elaborate as that, but they’ve been imaginative all the same!

This year has been weird so far though, in that most of this girl’s main BDSM activities have taken place away at events rather than at Grimly’s, which leaves her with not a lot to write about inbetween times – given most of the rest of the time has lately been spent trying to finance it all!

Both events this girl and Grimly have attended have been a great deal of fun and obviously both on a pony theme. It’s been good to finally experience that amongst people with similar kinks and also in the right sort of backdrop. It was all worthwhile

Most public events don’t really appeal to this girl and Grimly, given the average fetish club is full of people who do the same thing week in week out and generally can sometimes be a bit narrowminded in outlook. This girl doesn’t have a problem with those people, or see them in any way inferior – she just doesn’t get it. Maybe for some people doing the same thing every time at a club is fun….but this girl has been spoilt into wanting more adventure, and to sometimes explore outside her comfort zone. In addition to that, on more than one occasion someone has approached this girl or Grimly and asked if what they were doing was safe/sane or consensual. What’s the point of going to a club to be advised by a DM with less experience and less kit to use? Though, whilst clubs arent an attraction for play for this girl and Grimly, they do have the social benefit, which, can come in handy! Although it can be nice to sometimes be wrapped up in an isolated little planet of kink, it’s also fun to share that, its sort of part of what the whole BDSM malarkey is about.

The events recently were good for that – getting to know interesting people, making new friends and trying out ideas – the ploughing at Wales was especially different!

This girl hopes the fun of those trips has been communicated in her write ups about them, and hopefully it might have helped encouraged other people to look into it If anyone reading this has a review of an event they’ve attended and wants this girl to consider publishing it here – get in touch

This girl has now added a box net tab to her blog – this shows a video clip of the pony play outing in Wales from April – she looks a bit stompy given the grounds rough – but for those that have wanted to see a video of this girl – there you go! There’s also a clip to give a clue of something Grimly and a certain creative friend will hopefully be doing to this girl in a few months – now that will be a big holiday to write about full of hopefully plenty of new BDSM experiences and new friends to meet up with.

So far it’s been a busy year. This girl was away at the weekend as well to London, tho for family reasons. She saw ‘Oliver’, the musical on friday starring Rowan Atkinson (mr bean/blackadder) and it was amazing – not kinky – but worth getting a ticket for definate. This girl had a great time, but isn’t going to write up about what else she did given it’s pretty vanilla and touristy!

As this girl said above, it sort of feels a bit as though she’s too busy to really pay a lot of attention here, so sorry for that. It’s sort of difficult when you set a sort of standard of what you want to try and express to keep going when other things are happening. It seems last year was a big year for inventions, this year seems the one for socialising and travel. Though this girl isn’t complaining. She’s so looking forward to her main holiday this year, aside from anything it’s going to be the first time she’s been out of northern Europe! EEk.

This girl and Grimly have an international visitor in a few weeks too – so watch out for news and pics of that – its hopefully going to be a lot of fun and it will be interesting to see how their guest views their holiday experience! The accommodation may be a little clinical, but this girl and Grimly plan on doing their best to entertain!

This girl needs to get back into a masochist head soon too… in preparation for this year’s main event…some hard play is definately called for soon!

Now….she’s going to regret she said that isn’t she?????

It’s been a bit hard to write a lot about submission recently, given its sort of ticking over in the background….she’s waiting at the moment to see if Grimly will want her to have another stint of chastity this month….

she can’t decide whether she hopes he decides to or not….though she really hopes he gets back into an inventive frame of mind soon….though, there’s going to be several adaptations to things to suit the visitor later in the month, so that should kickstart the creativity!!

Pony Day & The Barnyard Club

This girl and Grimly went to two events at the weekend – both on a pony and pet play theme – both very different but equally amazing!

The weekend began with an early morning jaunt over the border this time to Lancashire. Minus hat. Minus men at work (thank fuck!)

This girl HATES Lancashire. There’s no logical reason for that , apart from the fact she originally comes from Yorkshire, it’s neighbour. Its one of those regional turf war things. Though, after the weekend, Lancashire certainly has a few more appealing reasons for a visit than it did before!

After a few transport related issues, this girl and Grimly arrived there  on time, and met up with other friends. Geetwo & Maxi (of geetwo stories) & Troublekeeper and his beautiful pony girl, Gypsy. It was good actually going to an event with the purpose of meeting people, and having fun

Caught between a rock and a hard place

So,this girl and Grimly have been trying a little experiment. For just over the last three weeks this girl has been locking herself into the chastity belt every night at 10.30 on the dot.

It was one of those things that came about because this girl was daft enough to suggest it and when she asks certain types of questions she should really know deep down that he is never going to say no! She suggested it because she’d just come away from a weekend where D/s and rituals and things had been discussed and hinted at a little by other people and it got her thinking a bit. What would it feel like to have some sort of bedtime routine? In fact, this girl and Grimly have a bit of a night-time routine anyway of talking to each other being the next nearest thing to being able to cuddle and stuff normally, given the distance – so, the idea was to just do something around the time of that last call. This girl had the belt in the house, so, to try and show him she was trying to add something the D/s side of things she made the suggestion ‘how about I sleep in chastity tlll i next see you’. He was completely in favour.

This girl felt rather positively towards it as well. She wanted to consciously do something to show him that she’s trying to submit to the sort of things that make up his fantasy – of which sexual control is a very big one.

After the very first night this girl woke up in a very aroused and spaced out state. It might have had something to do with spending a good bit of that weekend thinking about girl-girl stuff and being spanked, but having a reminder of Grimly’s control was the real reason. Although it was sort of her suggestion, it was something she was doing for him and with his piece of bondage engineering.

It reminded this girl that one of her biggest motivations for getting involved with BDSM was to fulfill sexual fantasy. For something total dream-like and sensory to feel real. To be real.

Grimly has made that happen by being able to come up with all these ingenious things at the same time as being able to control when she orgasms. Even two hundred miles away he can do that. In fact how many people can do that to their partner – give them an orgasm from 200 miles away whilst they are in chastity? Probably not that many!

Ultimately, this girl loves that sexual control. Why wouldn’t she given that she has had better orgasms whilst being controlled by him than she ever has when she’s been free to sort of control them herself?! She needs things though that remind her of it. Maybe that makes her sound a bit , you know, remedial, that she needs reminding of it – but sometimes explicit signs can do a nice little job of reinforcing an idea or concept and this recent idea has ended up being very erotic.

This girl found herself getting aroused leading up to the ‘lock-up’ time and felt herself in a sort of relaxed and semi-sexual state for going to sleep. It has actually been quite relaxing and extremely surreal.  She’s felt as though she’s been almost in a constant state of arousal. Some people might think to do it overnight is a bit of  a half step, and perhaps it is, but this girl is not yet quite ready for wearing a belt full time and to work – especially since the belt Grimly has for her at the moment isn’t ready for long term wear – but he assures her he will make further modifications in the near future. Funnily enough, this girl is quite patient in that respect. It might not seem a lot to some people, especially those that wear chastity full time, but this girl felt quite proud of herself that she was able to stick to this routine without begging him to let her off or anything like that. Though, part of the reason to that of course is it turned her on as much as hopefully it turned him on. Certainly, his voice on the phone and his atttitude towards her gave this girl the impression that he was pleased with it!

And if that didn’t…certainly his arrival a few nights ago did! This girl spent the last few days with Grimly. The night he arrived it was just after lock up time. In fact, she suspects he tried to arrive for that exact time to maybe try and catch her out or maybe to lock her up himself who knows? Anyway, she had the belt on ready, and despite his weariness he was visibly turned on by it. Though, being the sadistic evil loving bastard he is…didn’t do all that much about it till the following morning. Guess what? If sleeping three weeks in chastity makes a woman horny imagine what then sleeping next to a clearly aroused man does to her? Especially one that she has dreamed about submitting to whilst in that predicament? Yes, she didn’t sleep well that night at all!

Needless to say, as an experimental routine it worked. It’s maybe not one that will happen all the time during absences, but it will happen again for sure and gave this girl some very interesting dreams.

The experience was a little dream- like, a little spacy and a little bit comprised of fantasy, but it worked. The frustration was of course at a relatively high level, but, perhaps that’s a small price to pay.

That sort of idea inspired this picture a bit in which this girl is wearing the chastity belt and collar and lying on a pile of rocks near a waterfall near a loch. It sort of illustrates the idea behind the fantasy and the idea that the sexual pleasure of one person is given by the sexual control and slight discomfort of another. But then, isn’t that what sadomasochism with a bit of romance thrown in should be about??

Yes…not exactly what you do everyday…but very interesting and erotic nonetheless!

 

Previous chastity posts (oldest first) :-

• Chastity
  
• Home maid chastity and control
  
• Frustration
  
• The effects of one night of erotic denial
  
• The torment belt
  
• Craving torment
  
• Orgasm rights
  
• Cravings for chastity
  
• Love-hate
  
• Chastity isn’t just about not having sex

Rules & Rituals

From Submissive Journal Prompts :

“Ritual is important. It is fulfilling and meaningful. It is beautiful. It is symbolic, mnemonic, and instructive. It establishes protocols. It expresses, defines, and clarifies conditions. It is essential to, and ingredient within, civilization. Similarly, do not overlook the significance and value of symbolism.” Vagabonds of Gor, John Norman

This girl doesn’t have a lot to say about Gor, since she doesn’t see why anyone should assume all women are submissive and all men are dominant – because they’re not – however that particular quote sort of makes sense at the moment seen as this girl has been thinking quite a lot about various rituals and symbols of submission.

In the past this girl hasn’t really thought about rituals in D/s very consciously. In fact, mostly the way the D/s has worked in the past has been by just trying to do what feels right, trying to work it round each other. Mostly, that’s worked, but given the distance and given other things…sometimes it’s been hard to get that totally right.

It’s continually disruptive for this girl to try and get into the correct headspace when she is with Grimly, and then to force herself back to being away from him and towards mundane everyday things. That has to happen of course, reality exists, work, financial commitments, family – everything. This girl wouldn’t change that. She just wishes it was sometimes a bit easier – to sort of be able to push the buttons that make her able to be the submissive he wants – to be able to go into that mode when it’s right to. Rather than desperately wanting to be submissive to him when she’s 200 miles away – and then screwing it up when given the opportunity!

This girl has thought before about rules.

A lot of subs seem to have them – some are pages and pages and pages covering more or less every eventuality that might ever happen, or written clearly to appeal to the male fantasy. For some people that might be really erotic and really workable – but those sorts of rules aren’t what this girl and Grimly want. He doesn’t want to micromanage her, or make her feel as though her every thought should centre around his cock – lots of them do – but not all of them!

So, a while ago, Grimly came up with rules of his own. This girl didn’t like them. If she’s honest the reason why she didn’t like them wasn’t because they were impossible, or contrite, or cheesy or anything else like that. It’s because she felt ashamed that he felt he needed to remind her of those things.  Well, here they are anyway. There are some obviously that are just for times he wishes, rather than constantly, but it gives a bit of structure, and this girl has agreed with Grimly to try and make that work, and she’ll keep them there till he tells her that he doesn’t think she needs to be reminded anymore.

What this girl really wants is to feel as though she’s submitting to him when he needs her to, and that he has all his needs fulfilled. Given his needs as a dominant are slightly different to her needs as a rather horny masochist! This girl really wants that to work.

What this girl wants from submission is for it to be sexy, and for it to be romantic, and for him to feel as though she is doing everything she can to make him happy. Is that a submission thing or a love thing? Both? There’s been a lot of debate back and forwards recently about the marriage thing right now on other blogs. If a dom asks a sub to marry him is it right for him to ask or is it for him to command? This girl’s opinion is that it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference. She could not serve a dom she didn’t love. At least, not to the extent she wants to serve Grimly.

She doesn’t care if he commands her to marry him, or asks her, or arranges the date and the dress and tells her to be there. It doesn’t matter. Being married to him would make her ectastic, the proposal itself wouldn’t be all that important. Sure, every girl wants a bit of romance, but, any guy can give romance on one day. That’s what valentines day is there for – to encourage the ones that can only manage one day a year! Grimly is much more romantic than that – the sensual sadist – thats what this girl wants. She wants the whole submission/slavery thing based on that – love – and well, fun. Though of course, sometimes that will mean sometimes doing things that he wants that she doesn’t – now…that’s the bit that she’ll struggle with…but then it doesn’t exactly happen often.

This girl wants her submission to feel more ‘present ‘ as well. Sometimes it doesn’t. Especially when not around him. 

The collar of course is the biggest constant reminder – it’s a sort of comforting placebo sometimes, a reminder of the commitment and of her status and relationship. This girl sometimes has days where she has issues with the collar where she rebels against it, doesn’t like the look of it, doesn’t like what it means – but whenever he removes it for any reason she feels lost and a bit out of sorts. It’s meant to be there. This girl’s main objective at the moment is to feel less of a part-timer – she doesn’t want anyone to think of her as one of those weekend warriors or whatever you want to call them. She doesn’t want D/s to take over her life, but, she wants it to play a bigger part than what it has.

This girl spoke recently to another D/s couple about rituals and routines, and symbols. They had several specific rituals – in particular that the girl slept in a cage every night instead of a bed, and other daily routines like that. That wouldn’t work for this girl, but the thought is rather nice. It gave this girl ideas – things she suggested to Grimly – things that he liked , rather a lot.

More to follow soon!